One Night
by moms2398
Summary: John and "Snacks" OC Helena take a one night vacation from life and it leads... Reading "Snacks" is not necessary but helpful. Definitely HET, non-explicit PWP, Shep/OC, with language. Quite a bit racier than "Snacks". AU series of what might be. R
1. The First Night

Rodney let loose a low whistle while looking at the entrance of the cafeteria.

John frowned and turned around to find out what he was looking at. "What?"

Ronon said. "Whoa!" around his sandwich.

Atlantis' Chief of Food Services, CW4 Helena Leiter stood at the service bar speaking to Lieutenant LeVox. She was not dressed in her usual uniform of chef's coat and cargo pants. Instead, she wore a swirling green and blue blouse and dark jeans that hugged her curves impressively. Her red hair was loose and cascading down her back. As she leaned across the bar, her foot lifted to reveal what looked like a high-heeled boot. She began laughing and reached out to swat the lieutenant.

John swallowed hard, his eyebrows lifting to the sky, then turned back to the others. "Did I miss a memo?"

Rodeny shook his head. "If you did, I did, too."

He frowned. "I'll be back." He stood and walked toward her as she turned and started out the door.

A short jog caught him up to her as she turned to head toward her room.

"Hey, Chief," a Marine whistled. "You look _good_!"

Helena smiled widely. "Why, thank you, Sergeant!"

The Marine walking with him looked her up and down and said. "No, ma'am, _thank you_."

She laughed and shook her head. "Down, boy."

"At ease, Sergeant," John growled, sharply, falling in step next to her.

"Aye, sir!" Both men snapped to.

Helena continued walking but pouted up at him, good-naturedly. "Aw, you're no fun."

John's eyebrows came together. "Hot date?"

She looked at him sidelong with a grin and raised eyebrows. "Are you offering?"

John frowned. "I think I'm too late."

She laughed and approached her quarters. "What if I said you weren't? Would you?"

His eyebrows rose and he looked her up and down, deliberately.

She blushed to her roots and leaned toward him, touching his arm. "You keep that up and I won't be responsible…" She laughed at his look of surprise, and shook her head. "Come on in, John."

He followed her in. "Seriously, who are you seeing? Lorne?" he frowned. "Not that new astrophysicist, uh, Lactose?"

She frowned. "The new astrophysicist's name is Lakatos; means 'locksmith' in Hungarian. And no, there's no date. Not seeing anyone. Just in the mood to look a little more like a woman and less like a soldier."

John rubbed the back of his head. "Well, you definitely don't look like a soldier. Those Marines weren't wrong."

She beamed. "Nothing makes a woman feel more like a woman than a beautiful man telling her she's beautiful." She put her hand on his chest. "Thank you."

"So, what's the occasion?"

She laughed. "You're going to think I'm weird."

John looked at her, waiting.

She warmed. "It's the tenth anniversary of my divorce."

He frowned at her. "So you're celebrating?"

She smiled and nodded. "It was a bad marriage. We shouldn't have gotten married when we did and we stayed in it far too long." She sighed. "Let's just say we didn't part as friends."

John nodded. "I see. Did he celebrate, too?"

She laughed. "Actually, he got remarried a week after the divorce was finalized, so I'd say 'yes'."

John's eyes widened. "I can't imagine jumping back into marriage after my divorce."

Something in his tone made her frown. "You've been married," she accused.

He rubbed his chin. "Yeah."

"So, you probably _do_ think I'm nuts."

He couldn't stop looking at her. "What? No, no!" He shook his head. "I…I…I'm having a hard time concentrating."

With a laugh, Helena waved him off and turned to the small refrigerator she kept in her room. "Have a seat. Would you like a beer?"

He shook his head. "Honestly, I have a meeting with Elizabeth in a little while," he looked at his watch. "Actually, I'm late for it, now. Thanks, 'Lena," he said, sarcastically. "Watch me try to explain why I'm late _this_ time."

She grinned. Her eyebrow rose. "Rain check? Dinner, maybe?"

He smiled. "Yeah." He nodded. "Yeah. I could do that."

"Good." Helena tilted her head. "But John," she said. "No uniform."

He looked down. "Right. Celebration. No uniform. Is there a specific dress code?"

She bit her lip and shook her head, blushing. "Not going to say what just popped into my head," she chuckled. "You wear whatever you want to wear. Just no uniform."

He narrowed his eyes at her and wagged a finger at her. "Bad!"

She tried to look contrite, but fail miserably.

Shaking his head and smiling, he walked out.

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"Hey," Rodney said as they left Elizabeth's office. "You said you were coming back, but you didn't. Where'd you go?"

John shrugged. "There were some rabid Marines drooling over 'Lena, so I walked her back to her room."

Rodney shook his head. "Did you find out about the, uh," he moved a finger up and down his chest.

He shrugged. "She took a day off," he said.

"Really?" Rodney looked surprised. "Hmm." He shrugged with his face. "She really, uh, well, she looked great."

John frowned. "Yes, Rodney, she did."

"But, then," Rodney looked at his friend, as if monitoring his response. "She always looks good. She's a very beautiful woman."

John turned his head, slowly toward Rodney, his eyes narrowed.

"What?" Rodney raised his eyebrows. "Don't you think so?"

John sighed and shook his head.

"What?" Rodney frowned.

"And you call me 'Kirk'."

Rodney looked perturbed. "Oh, come on. You can't tell me that you don't think Helena Leiter isn't a lovely woman. At least she's human and not ascended."

John rolled his eyes. "Good night, Rodney."

Rodney grinned at John's back and then shook his head, walking off toward his lab.

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Helena's door opened when John signaled. He looked around but didn't see her. There were two covered plates on a table next to the window and music playing. The lights were on, but they weren't bright. "Helena?"

"Come on in, John." She came around a curtain and smiled at him. She was no longer dressed in the outfit she's been in. Instead, she was wearing a dress that looked like it wrapped around her and she was barefoot. Her hair was now swept gently back and twisted in a clip. "Wow," she smiled. "You look perfect."

He raised his eyebrows and looked down at himself. He was dressed in his favorite blue button-down shirt, un-tucked, and white pants. "Thank you."

She smiled. "LeVox made this wonderful Caribbean steak, marinated in pineapple juice and topped with a slightly spicy sauce so it is a little sweet and a little spicy and completely Caribbean. So I told him to bring two plates and decided to change and put on my 'Summertime' playlist; so I hope you like the Caribbean."

His eyebrows rose. "Sure. Who doesn't?"

"Are those for me?"

He looked down at the small bouquet of flowers in his hand. "I stopped by the botany lab." He handed them to her.

Taking them, she grinned. "Sweet. Come in; sit." She moved over to the dresser and grabbed a vase that sat empty. She placed the flowers gently in it and picked it up to take it to get water.

He looked down at her feet and then at his own casual shoes. Then he shrugged and kicked his shoes off and kicked them next to the door.

She laughed. "That's the way!"

He sat, comfortably, on the couch and watched her bring the vase back into the room.

She reached into the fridge and pulled out two bottles of beer. "Your beer, sir."

He smiled up at her, taking the beer and watching her fold her leg under her when she sat on the couch next to him.

"So how was your day?" he asked.

She smiled and leaned on her hand, with her elbow resting on the back of the couch. "It was wonderful. I should do this more often, but if I did, I don't think I'd appreciate it as much."

He took a drink from his beer and swallowed it. "You're probably right. But you look happy."

She looked off into space. "I am. I really am. I needed this. I needed to feel like more than the job and the city and all the crap we've dealt with even if only for a little bit." She looked down.

John frowned. "What's the matter?"

She bit her lip and shook her head, jumping up. "Nevermind. Are you hungry?"

He watched her move inside that dress and swallowed. "Absolutely." He stood and moved to the table, where she uncovered some fantastic looking food.

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A couple hours later, most of the food was consumed and he was sitting on the couch watching her move around the room. Finally, he spoke. "You really look fantastic in that dress, 'Lena."

She turned and looked at him. Beaming, she said. "Thank you, John."

John stood and walked over to her. He took her arm, stopping her in the middle of loading dishes back on trays. He smiled just slightly at her and asked. "Dance?"

"But you don't dance."

He frowned, defensively. "I dance. I danced with you once."

She slipped into his arms and they began to sway with a soft ballad backed by steel drums. "Yes, you did, but you didn't look like you wanted to when I asked."

He looked over her head. "It's not that; I don't like crowds."

She grinned. "This _is_ better," she admitted.

He looked down at her and she warmed under his gaze.

"What is it, 'Lena?"

"What is what?"

"You seem a little flustered."

She looked up, her eyebrows up. "I do?"

He examined her and she pinked again.

She laughed, softly, and lightly tapped his bicep. "Stop that."

"'Lena?"

"Why do you call me that?" Helena's eyebrows drew together and her eyes narrowed with the question.

He frowned. "What? You don't like it?"

She shook her head. "It's not that. I like it. I really do. But you know that you're the only one who calls me that."

His eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Yep."

"I didn't realize. Are you sure?"

Helena laughed. "Yes, John, I'm sure."

His hand shifted on her back and she stepped closer to him. "I don't know why. It just seems right."

She rested her head on his chest, then. "It does."

He stopped moving and looked down at her and could smell her hair. "'Lena."

She looked up at him and, suddenly, they were a breath apart. She didn't pull back as she looked into his eyes and at the rest of his face, as if memorizing every line and whisker.

"Yes?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Which question was that?"

"Why do you seem so distracted?"

"Oh, that question."

"That's not an answer."

"I know."

"And?"

She looked at his mouth. "I don't want to talk, John," she whispered, her breath warming his lips.

He frowned at her and her eyes returned to his eyes. Then, without thinking of any possible consequences to his actions, he dipped his head the span of the breath that separated them. Her gasp was swallowed by him as he captured her lips with his and gently, softly, tentatively explored. When he paused for the slightest instant, she pressed against him and touched his cheek with a feather soft caress. In response, he tightened his arms around her, pulling her closer. He was rewarded by her response, her tongue flicking against his and a soft, throaty groan.

He pulled back slightly, ending their kiss. He enjoyed her flushed face as her eyes opened to look at him. "'Lena," he whispered.

"John?"

"If you keep looking at me like that, I won't be held responsible…" he gruffly repeated her words from earlier, but not joking as she had.

She took a deep breath, which caused her breasts the move against his chest, in turn causing electricity to course through him. She didn't try to move away. She, instead, looked at his mouth again and licked her bottom lip.

"Aw, hell, 'Lena," he growled. He pulled her to him and devoured her mouth again.

This time, their hands began to roam. Her fingers traced his jaw, then wove into the hair at the nape of his neck. As their kiss deepened, her other hand drew feather-light brushstrokes down his back and to just above his waistline.

At the same time, his hands found the clip, holding her hair, and pulled it out, setting her hair loose. He wove his hands into the silkiness of it and he gently pulled her head back, releasing her lips to travel to her neck just below her ear.

A soft moan escaped her, sending jolts of electricity through his body. He returned his attention to her mouth as his hands tangled into her hair. Finally, he pulled back.

"'Lena," he growled, lowly. "What the hell is going on?"

She smiled, slightly, seeming unfocused. "Seems to me, you were doing a pretty good job of kissing me." She took a deep breath and blinked, as if to clear her vision.

"Why aren't you stopping me?" he held her head in place and investigated her face.

She warmed under the intensity of his gaze. Her eyes dipped away.

"'Lena?"

Her eyes were glistening when she looked up at him again. "I don't want you to stop," she whispered. "I want you, John. Just for tonight, no strings attached."

He felt as if he'd received an electric shock, suddenly. He pulled back. "What?"

She looked away again, silent.

"This whole thing…has it been for…?"

She looked at him like he'd said the world was flat. "No!" She insisted. "You followed me, remember?"

"But you invited me back."

"We're friends, aren't we?"

"Of course, but friends don't…"

Helena's eyebrow rose and her usual teasing grin returned. "Really? John, I know for a fact that you haven't been exactly celibate since arriving in this city. I could name five names just off the top of my head. Are you going to tell me that you wouldn't consider any of them friends?"

He tilted his head and frowned at her. He shifted from one foot to the other and lifted his hand to point in her direction. "I'm not going to discuss other…friends…with you, at least not right now."

She turned away from him, then. "Then what is the problem?"

He looked at her: her dress clung to her in all the right places; hair hung in red waves down her back, slightly messed from his hands; she had her arms crossed around her waist; and her back was reed straight.

"I don't want to do something you might regret later," he said, finally.

She turned at looked at him with a tilt to her head and a fire in her eyes. "I am not a child, John," she said, softly. "I am not looking for a romantic relationship. I want to feel like a woman, to touch a man and be touched by him." She pointed toward the door. "Now, I could choose any one of those young Marines out there, but it would be so much nicer if I felt like that man really cared about me."

The idea of touching her and being touched by her warmed him, but when she spoke of the Marines, he went cold. He growled and took a step toward her. "Most of those 'young Marines' are little too young for you, aren't they? I mean, you once called Ronon a baby."

She stepped closer to him and looked up into his eyes, defiant. "Maybe I'm just reassessing my preference for older men, John."

"So you're saying that if we don't…you know," he took a deep breath. "that you'll go find some Marine to…you know."

She rolled her eyes and stepped away again. "No, of course, not, John! What I'm saying is that if all I had been looking for was 'you know' from the beginning, I could have found it with some random Marine."

John frowned as though confused.

She shook her head and stepped away. "Forget it, John. Just forget it. It's okay. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in any way and you seem to be having difficulty with the whole concept." She started to turn toward the fridge. "Let me just get us another beer, we'll back up and forget everything between the dancing and now. Okay?"

He considered her, feeling his guard start to drop.

"John, please don't look at me like that. I'm having a wonderful day and don't want to spoil it and if the thought of 'you know' with me makes you uncomfortable, let's forget it."

John raked his hand through his hair, which made Helena smile. "Damn it, Helena!" he muttered. "I'm your C.O."

She frowned and lifted her index finger straight up, shaking it in the negative. "No uniforms, John. Right now, here, in this room, we're friends relaxing in the Caribbean. That's all." She turned away, finally. "Now, do you want another beer?"

Watching her move across the floor, that silky dress clinging to her like bed sheets, was driving him to distraction. Knowing she wanted him was enough to make him insane.

Unbidden, the appreciative looks and words of those two Marines in the hall appeared in his head. The irritation he'd felt bordered on irrational, then; now the memory of it, topped with her words, made his blood boil.

With three long strides, he covered the distance between them. He took her arm and spun her to face him, causing the refrigerator door to fly open then slam shut.

Helena looked up at John in shock at his rough handling. She looking into his eyes, which were the darkest she'd ever seen them. As she opened her mouth to question his sanity, he captured it with his own.

This kiss was no gentle, exploratory kiss. It was a ravishment, thorough and demanding.

Shocked, it took her a moment to respond, but when she did, it was with all the fervor of the desire she felt.

When he finally pulled back, she opened her eyes to find him examining her face. She knew from the warmth it was generating that it was flushed. She felt weak in the knees, butterflies in her stomach and cross-eyed all at once.

He released her, but only to move his hands to her hair. "Do you know how many times I've wanted to wrap this around my hands? The first time I saw it down, I wanted to kiss you just to have a reason to have my hands in it."

She smiled, touched.

"Damn it, 'Lena," he growled, lowly. "The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you have of touching my arm or my chest," he looked down at her body. "The way you look in a tee shirt and BDU cargo pants – the way you look right now! – is enough to drive any man to distraction."

She blushed and averted her eyes.

He dipped his head closer to her. "And that's damned sexy, too! A woman your age shouldn't blush anymore, but you do and it makes me wonder exactly how far that blush extends."

Her eyes popped back up to him and she gasped.

In response, he captured her lips again, hungrily. He delighted in the way she clung to him, like he was the only thing keeping her on her feet. This time, when he pulled back, her lips looked slightly swollen, her face was flushed and her eyes were closed.

He shifted his weight and moved his hands from her hair to cup her face. "'Lena, look at me."

She opened her eyes. They were dark blue, like the color of the sky just after dusk. "Yes, John?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, John," she breathed softly.

"I don't want to damage our friendship. Tell me what you want."

She licked her lips, which did strange things to his insides, and sighed. "I want you, my dear friend, tonight, on our Caribbean island. Tomorrow, we have to return to Atlantis and put everything back where it was. But tonight – " She frowned, then, up at him. "But what do _you_ want, John?"

He tilted her face up to his again. "I want to make you forget about Marines."

She frowned. "Who?"

He smiled and dropped his hands. "So I guess my work here is done."

"Oh! _Those_ Marines." At first, she honestly looked as if she really just remembered though he could tell by the twinkle in her eye that she was being saucy.

He growled again and took possession of her mouth again. This time, though, his hands began to roam over the silky fabric of her dress.

At the same time, he felt a bolt of electricity as her cool hands touched his stomach under his shirt. It jolted him enough to break their kiss. But it was not enough to stop his hands.

He looked down at her body, examining the dress and found a tie at her waist. As he worked on the tie, she began to unbutton his shirt, breathing feather-light kisses on his chest after each button. He shrugged off the shirt as he pulled the cord of her dress.

She spun for him, unwrapping her body like a gift. She shrugged off the dress and moved back to him, latching her fingers on the button at his waistband, releasing the button and easing the pants over his hips.

Before his pants hit the ground, he had her in his arms again, feeling the warmth of her body against his skin, kissing her thoroughly one more time and reveling in her responses. Then, in a quick motion, he broke off the kiss and gathered her into his arms to take her and lay her gently on the bed, covering her body with his own.

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Later, he watched her get out of bed, clothed only in her long hair which was damp around her face.

"Where are you going?" He asked, softly.

She turned and smiled. "To get some water. Don't want us to get dehydrated."

He marveled at how comfortable she seemed to be with him watching her. When she turned away from the fridge with two bottles of water, he watched her hair move softly against her breast and felt a familiar tightening in response.

Her eyebrows rose, suddenly. "Wow," she grinned looking at the sheet that covered him. "Ready for round two, already?"

He grinned widely and wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Ding, ding." He lifted the sheet to welcome her.

Setting her own bottle on the table next to the bed, she slid in and offered him the water. He took it and opened it and began to drink, but he choked and splashed refrigerator cold water on his chest as he jumped at the touch of her cold hand on a very warm part of his anatomy.

"Holy crap, 'Lena! You're hands are cold!"

She started laughing and looked sheepish. "Sorry. I forgot that I just carried water straight from the fridge."

He narrowed his eyes at her and slowly screwed the cap back on the water bottle. He looked down at the water on his chest and the edge of the sheet that covered him.

Her eyes widened. "Now, John, don't you even…"

"Payback's a bitch," he turned the bottle in his hand, holding it by the cap.

Before he could touch her with it, she jumped back out of bed, holding a finger up to him. "John! I said I was sorry," she laughed, backing away as he climbed out as well.

"And I'll be sorry, too, after you get what's coming to you."

She straightened and her eyebrows lifted. "Hmm. I rather like the sound of that."

The sight of her standing before him, hands splayed in defense, flushed with laughter, made him put the bottle on the table. He stalked her and she lowered her guard, licking her lips in anticipation. He reached for her waist and she jumped and intercepted his hands in hers.

"Your hands are cold!" she accused.

"Have any ideas of how to warm them?" he asked, lowly. He interlaced his fingers with hers and took another step, making her step backward, then another and another, until her back was against the wall. He held her hands up on either side of her head, braced against the wall as well and leaned in to taste her neck.

She sighed and arched against him. "Mmm. I think I could come up with something."

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Sometime after round four, they fell asleep with her curled up to him, her leg over his, her arm on his chest and her head on his shoulder. His arm was under the curve of her breast, wrapped around her waist, with a damp curl of her hair wrapped around his hand.

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Thin rays of light were filtering into the room when John was roused from a blissful sleep by movement and a sudden cold spot on his right side. He frowned and looked over to where the cold was coming from to find Helena climbing out of the bed.

"Where are you going this time?" he asked sleepily.

She smiled endearingly at him. "It's 0400. Coop's in the kitchen already."

He blinked. "It's morning?"

She nodded. "Yes."

He shook his head. "No. Not yet. Come back to bed, we have some time still."

She smiled a bit wider. "I'm not fooled by you, John Sheppard. You don't want me to come back to bed to go to sleep."

He smiled. "You're right," he swung the sheets off and stood. He glanced away and winced. "But I need to visit the…" He glanced beyond her to the bathroom.

She nodded. "Me, too."

He motioned for her to go first. When she came out, she started the shower and stepped out of the bathroom, motioning for him to go in. When he came back out, he leaned toward her, took her by the waist.

"Come here," he growled.

She willingly moved into his arms and reached up for his kiss. After a fair amount of in-depth kissing, she pulled back and raised an eyebrow at him.

He grinned at her and wiggled his eyebrows, glancing to the bed.

She shook her head and took his hand, leading him into the shower.

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She smiled up at him as she tucked her uniform pant leg into her boot. "What is it?"

"I was just thinking that it's a really good thing you keep your hair up all the time."

She frowned and flung her hair back. "Why?"

He was leaning against the table, dressed in his clothes from last night, drinking coffee. The hand that wasn't holding the coffee cup was shoved into his pocket and his ankles were crossed. "I don't think I'd ever be able concentrate if you wore it down all the time."

She laughed and stood. "Flatterer." She moved over to a mirror and began to brush and braid all that hair.

He sipped his coffee. "It's amazing that you get all that up in a bun that looks so small. No wonder everyone's so shocked when you wear your hair down."

"It's just not practical to have it down in the kitchen. Not to mention it wouldn't be too appetizing to find a two foot long hair in your food."

John made a face and Helena laughed again.

He waited until she was finished and ready to leave for the kitchen.

Helena moved over to him and took his coffee cup from him. She moved close to him and put her hands around his neck. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her as close as clothes would permit.

This kiss was slow and tender. It was, for all intents and purposes, a good-bye kiss for they both knew that once they stepped out of her door, their oasis was over.

"'Lena," he groaned. "You're going to kill me."

She looked delighted, but said. "Hey, you're the one that kept me up all night."

"Me? Excuse me, but you instigated both round three and round four."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "And you started five." Her eyebrow rose and she sighed. "I was KO'd in every round, I have to say."

He smiled. "That makes it a split decision, then."

She beamed, then tried to glare at him. "But I'm exhausted. Hell, as it is, I'm going to have to come back here and take a nap between breakfast and lunch."

His hands moved on her waist and smiled. "A nap sounds nice."

She shook her head. "And I mean _sleep_, my friend." She grinned up at him.

He kissed her again, then opened his mouth to speak, looking thoughtful.

She put her finger to his lips. "Go get ready for work, John. I'll see you at breakfast in a couple of hours."

"So, no more Caribbean island."

She shrugged. "Everyone needs a vacation every once in a while. If you want to take one with me, I'll check my availability."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, thanks, 'Lena. I appreciate your considering me for your busy schedule." His words dripped with good-natured sarcasm.

She gained a wicked flicker in her eye and grinned saucily. "Right behind the Marines."

John's smiled melted and he narrowed his eyes at her. "Helena."

Innocently, she looked up at him. "Yes, John?"

He grabbed her and kissed her hard and thoroughly. When he let her go, she blinked hard several times. "You were saying?" he asked.

"Hmm? What were we talking about?"

He grinned and took her hand as they walked together to the door. Just before it opened, he kissed her on the forehead. Then they walked out the door together. Without another word, he headed left to his quarters and she headed right to the cafeteria.


	2. A Date

_A/N: This started out as an Aside from the "Snacks" series, but I couldn't think of a place to fit it. That is why I posted it separately. Based on requests from readers, I have decided to continue this track as a separate, AU series of what could be. You don't have to read "Snacks" (Seasons 1 – 3) to understand what is going on, but there is some background information that might be referred to. I hope you enjoy it. Please Read and Review._

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_Months later_

John frowned as he heard Helena laugh. He was watching her talk to the newest astrophysicist, Dr. Salaman Lakatos. She touched his arm in her friendly way as they talked.

"Sheppard!"

He turned his head and focused on Rodney, sitting across the table from him. "What, Rodney?"

"You didn't hear anything I said, did you?"

He glanced down at his food. "Uh," he sighed. "No. Sorry."

Rodney frowned and watched John tense as Helena laughed again. "What is going on?"

John frowned. "What makes you think something is going on?"

He leaned forward. "Are you _interested_ in her?"

John frowned. "No," he said, slowly. "What would make you think that?"

"Because you've been acting weird around her lately. Scowling a lot."

John narrowed his eyes and made a face. "No, I haven't."

Rodney nodded. "Yes, you have."

John frowned. "You've got an overactive imagination."

"I don't think so. I think you like her."

"What are we? Twelve?" He stiffened as Helena laughed again.

Rodney leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms across his chest. "It's okay, you know. I mean, you're both consenting adults. As long as you're not going to be throwing her over for the next hot ascended woman that comes along."

John narrowed his eyes. "Will you stop with the ascended woman crap, already? It's getting old."

"You're telling me."

"Rodney." His voice held a warning.

"I'm just sayin'."

"Well, stop."

Rodney put his hands up in surrender. "Fine." Then he stood. "I have a meeting with Zelenka."

John nodded. He stood as well and started to take his tray away. He noticed Helena nodding at Dr. Lakatos and she walked away with a smile.

He put his tray away and moved toward her. "Hello, 'Lena."

Helena smiled brightly. "Hello, John. How are you?"

"Dr. Lactose seems to be very funny."

Helena frowned. "Lakatos, John. You know that."

John frowned over her head at the scientist. "You seemed to be enjoying his company."

Helena smiled and shrugged. "He asked me to dinner. " She glanced over toward the man in question and smiled a little wider. "He's going to cook for me."

John's eyebrows rose. "Really?"

She nodded, happily.

"So where's this hot date going to happen? Your place or his?"

She frowned. "His. Why?"

He frowned. "I just want you to be careful."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Of course, but why? Why are you warning me about Salaman Lakatos? Do you know something about him?"

John frowned. "No. I guess I'm just surprised. He doesn't seem like your type."

Her eyebrows rose. "My type? What is my type?"

"Are you doing away with your older men standard again?"

"First of all, he _is_ older than me; thank you very much for bringing up my age again, by the way. Second of all, it's _just dinner_."

John grunted. "Is it 'just dinner' for him?"

Her eyes widened. Her voice lowered and she stepped closer to him. "What the _hell_ is going on here, John?"

He shrugged his face.

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you _jealous_?!"

"What?! What do I have to be jealous about?"

"You tell me."

"We're just friends, remember, Helena? You could get anyone you wanted, isn't that what you said? Why should I be jealous?"

She gritted her teeth and said, lowly. "You're pissin' me off to the point that I'm tempted grab a candidate right here and now." She took a deep breath and continued a little calmer. "But Salaman is still in here and he seems like a nice guy. I don't want to hurt him."

John leaned into her and said lowly. "Believe me, _Chief_, I really don't care _who_ you do. I was trying to look out for you."

Her eyes widened for a second, then narrowed again. "Well, _Colonel_, I don't need your protection."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"I'm leaving now," he announced.

"Have a nice day," she growled and stalked off.

Watching her go, John wondered what in the world made him say that thing about "who you do". He looked over at Lakatos, who was reading quietly from his notepad computer, then he sighed and walked out of the cafeteria.

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Helena stood at the door of Salaman's quarters, holding his hands in hers. "Dinner was lovely, Sal."

The tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed, Hungarian scientist smiled down at her. "I'm pleased you liked the meal."

She smiled back at him. "The company wasn't bad either," she said.

He shook her hands. "I agree." He leaned forward and kissed her softly.

Helena accepted his kiss. His lips were soft and he tasted like the wine they'd had for dinner. When the kiss ended, she smiled up at him. "Good night, Sal." She let go of his hands and walked out the door.

Instead of going straight back to her quarters, she decided to go for a walk. She wound up at the West Pier, her usual thinking spot. She walked out and saw John standing at the rail. Biting her lip, she paused for a second, then went ahead and joined him.

They stood next to each other for a long time, silent.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry."

She looked over at him. He didn't look back. Instead, he looked down at the rail.

"Me, too," she said.

"I shouldn't have acted that way."

"I shouldn't have gotten angry."

He glanced over at her and nodded. "You had every right."

She shook her head. "No. I should have laughed. I know you didn't mean it."

He smiled, just a little. "Right."

She found herself looking at his mouth. She remembered the kiss with Sal Lakatos. The next thought, unbidden, was memory of the kissing John. She could remember what he tasted like, but couldn't describe it; Sal definitely tasted like the wine. John's lips were soft but electricity seemed flow through them; Sal's were just soft. She looked out to the ocean, suddenly disturbed that she was comparing what had been a potential romantic liaison's kiss with the kiss of her closest friend.

"So how did the date go?"

She nodded, absently. "Fine."

He nodded. "That's good. He seems like a nice guy."

She frowned out to the ocean, her mind swirling. "I have to go," she said, abruptly. "I have to get up early. Good night, John."

He turned, frowning as she walked away. "Good night, 'Lena," he called after her, confused.


	3. Another Night

_Months later_

Helena frowned at the door when it chimed and put her book down. She unfolded her legs and put her bare feet on the floor. She padded over to the door and waved her hand in front of the controller to find John. She frowned.

He looked rough, like he hadn't slept in a while.

"John?"

He stepped in and took her face in his hands. He lowered his lips to hers, hungrily, walking her backwards toward the bed. When they got to it, another step sent them both down.

He paused. "Are you seeing anyone?" he asked gruffly

Confused, she blinked to straighten out her eyesight. "What? No, but—"

He leaned into her and began kissing her again, feverishly.

There was no thought in her mind as she reached up to touch his face and began kissing him back, just as feverishly. He was encouraged by her response and shifted his weight to draw her closer.

She gasped slightly as she felt the heat of his hand on her bare breast, not knowing how he got to it and not really caring.

Her gasp seemed to jolt him to his senses. Quickly, he removed his hand and pulled away, sitting up. "'Lena." He sounded tortured.

"What is it?" She pushed herself up.

"I shouldn't have come." He stood. "I'm sorry, 'Lena." Without another word, he walked back through the door and was gone.

Helena's eyebrows drew together and her eyes widened. "John!" She started to follow him out and caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her shirt zipper was down almost to her stomach, her hair was a mess and her lips were swollen. She quickly zipped her shirt, then gathered her hair into a simple ponytail and ran out the door.

John was nowhere to be seen.

Helena went back into her quarters and retrieved her earpiece, then set off for his quarters.

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He opened the door, leaning his hands on the door frame. "Go away, 'Lena."

She narrowed her eyes at him and pushed past him. "No."

He turned around, watching her move. He frowned at her as she turned back to face him.

"Do you want to tell me what that was?" she demanded, pointing in the general direction of her quarters.

"No."

She narrowed her eyes. "What is it, John? What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk."

She tilted her head and turned away, finding the bed right behind her. She regarded it for a moment, then reached back and pulled her hair down. Then she unzipped her shirt to just below her breasts. She sat on the bed and leaned back on her hands. "Fine. Let's not talk."

"What are you doing?"

She lifted her chin. "Encouraging you to finish what you started."

His eyes were dark as he covered the span of the room and pulled her up, off the bed. "I stopped for a reason," he growled, inches from her face.

"Well, I figured that out, John," she responded, looking in his eyes. "What I don't know is why."

He let her go and walked to the door. He waved his hand in front of the door sensor and, when the door opened, he motioned for her to leave.

Instead, she walked over to the sensor, waved her hand in front of it, closing the door, and removed the center crystal. Then she walked back to his dresser, opened a drawer and tossed the crystal in. Finally, she sat on the dresser, her legs positioned in front of the drawer in question, and crossed her arms in front of her.

He watched her, his eyes drawn to the cleavage emphasized by her crossed arms. He shook his head and dragged his hand through his hair. "Dammit, Chief."

She smiled. "Don't you pull rank with me, Mister. Something's obviously bothering you. You came looking for something; something you thought I could give you. If it was only sex, fine. Here I am."

He looked angry at this.

Nonplussed, she continued. "If it was something else, I'm still here. Talk to me, John, or don't. I'm here," she shook her head. "And I'm not leaving."

"I don't want you to feel used," he ground.

Her look gentled. "I won't. I promise. Whatever you need, John." She held out a hand to him. "Let me help you."

He moved to her and cupped her face, wordlessly. When he kissed her, it surprised her by being feather soft. He picked her up and gently laid her on the bed. Kissing her, he climbed in with her.

She sighed as his lips moved from her mouth to her throat and she arched to him. Then the kisses ended and he put his head down on her chest, as if to listen to her heart.

Her heart broke for him when he wrapped his arms around her and just held her. She brought her arms up and put one hand on his arm and the other in his hair, stroking gently. She tilted her head and pressed her lips to back of his head, gently.

"Elizabeth's gone," he said, after an eternity.

She closed her eyes. "Oh, John." She knew it was something he'd feared, but his sense of optimism wouldn't allow him to voice it. She felt a lump form in her throat for the loss of her friend, but swallowed it, focusing, instead, on him.

They didn't speak for a long time. Neither of them knew how long they lay there when, finally, he lifted his head and looked down at her. He studied her face and she waited. He dipped his head, then, and touched his lips to hers with the gentlest touch. Then he pulled back.

"I'm sorry, 'Lena," he said, gruffly.

Her eyes glistened. "Don't you dare apologize to me, John." She swallowed. "I'm glad you trust me enough to come to me when you need a soft place to land."

"Be honest with me," he examined her face. "Are you seeing anyone?"

She frowned. "No, John, there's no one."

"Lakatos?"

She looked confused. "What? Oh, the date. It was a one meal thing, John. Nothing came of it."

"So, no one?"

She smiled. "No one."

He seemed like he was going to kiss her, but instead he spoke. "I want you, 'Lena."

"Yes, John."

"I don't want a vacation."

"Okay."

"I don't want sex."

She frowned at him.

"More than just friends, 'Lena. More."

She examined his face. After a moment, her eyes returned to meet his. "Whatever you need, John."

Finally, he captured her mouth with his and gently began to explore her. His hands folded into her hair and held her head as he flicked his tongue against hers and was met with enthusiasm. His hands began to roam as hers did, removing clothing as their hands came to it. As badly as they both wanted it, he held himself in check, moving slowly, deliberately, becoming thoroughly reacquainted with her.

After what seemed like forever to her, she arched into him. "John," she whispered, fervently. "Please."

He looked into her face, flushed with desire, eyes hooded and dark blue. He kissed her again and moved his hand to touch her most sensitive spot. When he did, she gasped against his lips and he drew back to look at her face as he touched her. She began to move her hips and a soft moan escaped as he took his time bringing her to that precipice and over it.

She reached for him and he moved to just out of reach, causing her moan with frustration. He smiled at her and shook his head.

"No," he commanded. "I want to enjoy you, 'Lena. Let me worship you."

Tears sprang to her eyes and she reached up to kiss him again as his hands began to roam again.

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It was late. He felt moisture on his chest and knew she was crying even though she didn't make a sound.

"What is it, 'Lena?"

"You," she sniffed. "I know you're hurting, John, but you made this all about me."

He tightened his arms around her. "When I came to you, I was frustrated. I wanted to prove something. When you came to me, I…" he took a deep breath. "I wanted to feel you feel."

She hugged him. "Will you let me do the same for you?"

"Not tonight," he said, softly, tilting her head up to kiss her. "Go to sleep, my 'Lena."

She smiled against his mouth. "You, too."

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It was still dark out when he woke to find her standing at the window, clad in his shirt.

"Come back to bed, 'Lena."

She shook her head. When she glanced over to him a distant light reflected on her face and he frowned at what he saw.

"What's wrong?"

"I figured it out," she said, sharply. "I know what you're doing, John."

He frowned and sat up. "I think it should be fairly obvious."

She glared at him, until, finally, he lifted his hands in surrender.

"What am I doing?"

"You feel responsible. You're not allowing yourself to feel because you're trying to punish yourself. You _are_ using me, John, but not in the way I thought you were talking about. You're using me to punish yourself and, quite frankly, John, _that_ pisses me off."

He stood and walked to her. "I don't know what you're talking about. I told you I didn't want you to feel used."

"And yet you used me."

"I think I gave much more than I got this evening," he smiled, softly.

But instead of eliciting a blushing smile from her, it caused her frown to deepen. She turned on him and poked him in his chest. "Exactly. You don't want to talk, but you don't want to feel either. Wait, that's not accurate. You want to feel: guilt. You're wallowing in it. And I'm not going to let you use me to deny yourself what you _need_."

He frowned down at her.

"It is _not_ your fault she's gone, John."

His eyes narrowed and anger was clearly displayed on his face. "Really? I'm the one who left her behind." He turned away, to look out another window. "Explain to me how it's not my fault."

"You _had_ to leave her, John. You didn't have a choice. Rodney told me about the mission. Do you know he blamed himself? Do you realize that he's probably blaming himself right now? If he could have figured out a way to keep the AR Field up just a little while longer, she would have never left the jumper. But she did. She sacrificed so that you and Ronon could get back to the jumper. Isn't that what we're trained to do?"

"We are. She's not." He frowned. "I mean, she wasn't."

Helena went to him and touched his back. "Yes, I think she was. She would have died a thousand times for any of her people here and you know it." She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her cheek on his back. "Are you saying that you'd feel less bad if it were me or Lorne that was…?"

He pulled away and turned to her. He grabbed her arms and pulled her into a fierce kiss.

When he released her, she looked up at him. "I didn't think so."

He strangled a growl of frustration as he turned away from her.

She walked to him, calmly. She put her hands on the expanse of his back and began to touch him, placing feather light kisses in the paths her hands made. Finally, she slipped under his arm and began to do the same thing to his chest.

He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back.

She looked up at him, tilting her head, expectantly.

He released her and sighed. He ran his hand through his hair and walked to his dresser. He began rummaging through the drawer, looking for the crystal for the door.

"It's not in there."

He turned to find her standing behind him with arms crossed under breasts and a smile on her face. "Where is it?"

She shook her head. "I'm not telling you."

Exasperated, he threw his hands in the air. "What the hell do you want from me, Helena?"

She moved quickly to him and grabbed him intimately. He jumped, but it didn't faze her.

"I want you to _feel_, John. Anger, frustration, sadness, pain, pleasure," she held his eyes when he started to look away. "Release. I want you to let it go, my friend," she began to move her hand, sending bolts of electricity through him. "Let me love you, John."

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard. At first, it was his intention to distract her from her goal. As her tongue invaded his mouth and her hand moved, he began to feel the purely animal need begin to take over his senses. He lifted her, effortlessly, from the floor and sat her on the dresser, moving between her legs and pushing his shirt from her shoulders.

He paused and looked at her. "'Lena," he groaned, dropping his head to her shoulder. "I don't want to lose control."

She wrapped her legs around him and took his face in her hands. "Just give me the stick, John. I'm here. Let go."

He felt his control slip as he looked down into her moist eyes. "'Lena," he groaned. He pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair.

Helena wrapped her arms around him and held him, occasionally kissing his neck or his ear, until she felt him begin to shake and his arms tighten around her. She tightened her hold on him, stroking his neck.

After a long time, with the thin rays of daylight breaking through the night, he pulled back, kissing her gently. Then the gentle kiss grew more intense, more insistent and their hands began to roam again.

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Helena held John in the early morning sunlight. She wondered where her earpiece was only because she wanted to call in sick. She knew she should look for it but she didn't want to let him go.

"'Lena?" he said, quietly, from her chest.

"Thought you were sleeping," she whispered.

"No." He lifted his head to look at her. "Thank you."

She warmed under his gaze and smiled. "Thank you, John."

"We need to talk, you know."

She shook her head. "Not right now. Let's just be, okay?"

He looked to her right then back at her. "Don't you have breakfast in an hour?"

She looked to her right to see the clock that read "0457". "Yep, but I'm calling in sick today."

He frowned. "I can't."

"Then just tell them you'll be late, a few hours. I'll tell LeVox and Coop that I'll be in for lunch."

He looked at her for a long minute, then nodded. "I guess the universe won't end in a couple hours."

"If it looks like it will, I'm sure Rodney will find a way to let you know."

He leaned down and kissed her gently. When he pulled back, he looked at her with his eyebrows raised. "Did you say 'give me the stick'?"

She grinned. "Are you proud? I used a pilot term."

He grinned. "Very proud, but don't expect me to use culinary terms anytime soon."

She chuckled. "I don't know, I can think of some terms you might find useful."

"None as useful as 'give me the stick', I'll bet." He wiggled his eyebrows and she pinked.

"No, none as useful as that one."


	4. An Understanding

She sat in his bed, the sheet wrapped around her, her legs crossed in front of her. He sat at her feet, with the same sheet covering his naked lower half. They were sharing an MRE and some Powerbars that he'd had stashed in his room.

As she chewed her portion of a Powerbar, she paused as she noticed the look on his face. She used the back of her pinkie finger to wipe a smudge from the corner of her lip. "What?"

He looked at her. "You know we have to talk."

She frowned. "Now?"

He nodded.

She finished chewing, swallowed and put the remainder of the bar into the empty MRE bag. As she wiped her hands on the flimsy paper napkin that came with the military rations, she sighed. "What do you want to talk about?"

He waited until she looked up at him. "'More than friends, 'Lena'. Remember?"

She waved her hand, dismissively. "That was for last night."

John shook his head. "I don't want that."

Straightening, she frowned. "You don't?"

Leaning forward, he took her hands. "I thought I was okay with the friends with benefits arrangement we had; hell, I was happy you'd offered it and happy to take you up on it. Fantastic sex with a fantastic woman who didn't expect anything more than friendship? What man _wouldn't_ want that kind of arrangement?"

She grinned. "It was pretty fantastic that first night, wasn't it? Not that it wasn't excellent last night, mind you, but…" She stopped when she saw frustration creep into his features. "Sorry."

"It makes me crazy to think of you with someone else."

She smiled. "Welcome to my life."

He frowned. "What?"

She rolled her eyes. "I think I was okay with Chaya, because it was early on in our friendship, but as time went on and I found myself liking you more and more, I found that I was having a hard time. That Talaran scientist that was just too hot for words. That Larrin woman. Even when Carson and I…I found myself irritated when you hooked up with women from the expedition."

John smiled. "I was jealous when I found out about you and Carson."

Helena's jaw dropped. "What?! You're kidding, right?"

He shrugged. "I didn't have any right to be, but it didn't make the feeling go away. It just made me feel guilty for having it. Just like when you had dinner with Lakatos."

She smiled at him.

"Don't laugh at me," he warned.

"I'm not, John. Really, I'm not. I think it's sweet. I'm touched."

They were silent for a moment and Helena looked around. "So," she said. "Now what?"

"I don't want you to see anyone else."

She raised an eyebrow. "And you?"

"I don't want to see anyone else." John held her eyes until she looked away. "Helena?"

She bit her lip. "This is complicated, John. And you know it."

He nodded. "So you don't want it?"

Her eyes met his again, quickly. "I didn't say that."

"So?"

She unfolded her legs and stood, leaving the sheet behind. She retrieved his shirt from its location on the dresser and shrugged it on. "You know, if we're going to do this on a regular basis, I'm going to have to have a change of clothes here. If someone came by and found me lounging about in my birthday suit, people would start talking."

He turned to face her. "So, let them."

Helena frowned at him. "What does that mean, exactly? Let them talk because we don't care who knows or let them talk because we all know that rumors fly around this city like air and people won't think much of it?"

He stood and walked over to her. "Why should we care who knows?"

She fought to keep her eyes focused on his face as he stood, naked, in front of her. "Two words: Colonel" She poked his chest, then touched her own. "And Chief."

He sighed. "I'm not in your direct chain of command anymore, remember? Colonel Carter is the base commander."

"And that would make you XO. And you were never _really_ in my direct chain of command. Sure, you were the base commander, but I answered more to…" she swallowed. "To Elizabeth than you."

He nodded. "But the fact remains that I am in a position of authority over you and it would be inappropriate for us to pursue a relationship."

She wrapped her arms around him. "I want to, though."

"I'll talk to Sam," he said after a long while.

Helena looked up at him. "Sure. It's not like she's never been in this situation. She might actually be okay with it. Although, she may not be _because_ of what she's been through."

John frowned. "What are you talking about?"

She frowned at him, then her eyebrows rose. "Oh! I keep forgetting that you haven't been in the Stargate Program for a hundred years. Pretty much everyone in SGC knows that there has been something between her and General O'Neill for years. But I'm one hundred percent certain they've never acted on it. He was not only in her chain of command, but he was her team commander. One or both of them would have been removed from the program. I don't know if they are still, well, interested, but with him in Washington now and her, well, here, it might make it…actually, he'd still be her CO, so I don't see it happening unless one of them gets out of the military all together."

"Sam and General O'Neill? Really?"

Helena smiled. "Don't you dare let on that you know anything. As I said, I'm pretty certain it was never something they acted on. It may have even been something they both gave up on having because of the program and the military."

He reached out and touched her hair. "So where does that leave us?"

She shook her head. "I don't know, but I don't think you should go to her. It should be me."

"Why you?"

"Woman to woman, John. And I am supposed to know something of her past, remember? I was stationed at the SGC for the better part of eight years before I left for Atlantis. I saw a lot in that mess hall."

John cupped her face in his hands and tilted her face up. He kissed her slowly and deliberately.

By the end of it, her body was screaming for him, but she restrained herself. "There's one more thing."

"What is it?"

"I am who I am, John. I am not going to change."

He frowned. "I wouldn't want you to."

"I've been in relationships with men before who loved the way I am until we were in the relationship, then they thought I was flirting with every man I talked to. I don't want that. I enjoy having my male friends and I am going to be myself. Just as I have always been with you – before the benefits."

He nodded. "Don't worry. If I start to feel insecure, I'll kidnap you to your place or mine and reassert my status until I'm feeling secure again."

She laughed. "For a second there, I thought you said 'reinsert'."

He chuckled. "That works, too."

"And the future, John?" she sobered.

"The future will take care of itself. There's not a lot we can do about it."

She reached up to him and he kissed her. This time, she didn't restrain herself and soon, his shirt was on the floor and they were back in the bed.


	5. Regs

Samantha Carter looked up from her desk and saw Helena Leiter standing at the door. She smiled. "Hello, Helena."

The Food Services Chief smiled back. "Busy, Sam?"

Sam looked at the report she was reading and shook her head. "Nothing that won't wait. How are you doing?"

Helena walked in and sat down across the desk from Sam. "As far as Elizabeth goes, I'm working through it. I need to talk to you about something else, though."

Sam folded her hands on her desk and waited.

"You know that military protocol around here is much looser than it is on Earth."

Sam touched her hair, which was braided over her shoulder instead of tucked up in keeping with military regulations. "Yes. And I know that you have a different kind of status here. It's almost like you're a civilian, Helena. Almost everyone calls you by your first name and you answered directly to Dr. Weir instead of to Colonel Sheppard."

Helena nodded. "Yes, well, it made no sense to try to get requisition requests through John when he was off-world all the time. And he's always hated dealing with paperwork, so it was something Elizabeth and I worked out early on."

Sam nodded. "I have no problem with keeping with that."

Helena smiled. "Thanks, but now it's kind of a moot point. You're both the lead administrator _and_ the base commander. But that's not what I came to talk to you about."

Sam frowned. "Okay, then what?"

Helena chewed on her lip for a second, as if trying to find the words.

"Helena?"

"We've known each other for a long time, Sam, right?"

Sam nodded. "More than ten years now."

"And we know a lot about each other, right? I mean you knew my ex before he was my ex and all."

She frowned. "Yes."

"I need a favor."

Sam began to grow impatient. "What is it, Chief?"

Helena shook her head. "Now don't go throwing rank in there. I can't ask this favor of the military commander. I _can_ ask it of the lead administrator, of my friend."

Sam frowned. "Okay. The lead administrator is asking, then. What is it?"

"I need for you to not care if I get involved with another military member in Atlantis."

Sam's eyebrows rose and she smiled. "Really?" Then her smile faded. "Not someone in your direct chain of command, right?"

"No, no. Not in my direct chain of command. He's an officer who does not work in the kitchen."

Sam smiled again. "I don't see any problem, then. I'm not about to enforce fraternization regs when we're in another galaxy. I have no problem with my people having relationships as long as it doesn't interfere with the performance of the mission."

Relieved, Helena sighed. "I was hoping you'd say that."

"Well, it's not like you can go off-base and find someone to date. And I can tell you from personal experience that it is not easy dating someone when you can't talk to them about your work."

Helena nodded. "Exactly. And you and I both know that there's no controlling who you fall in love with."

Sam's eyes widened and her smile grew big. "It's serious, then."

Helena looked down at her hands. "It's something that we've been trying to ignore for a long time, what with us both being military and all. I just can't let it go anymore. Life is too short."

Sam nodded. "Can I ask who it is?"

Helena sucked in her lips, then looked Sam square in the eye. "John Sheppard."

Sam's eyes opened wide. She opened her mouth to speak, but snapped her jaw shut. She stood, tapping her ear. "Colonel Sheppard, please report to the main conference room, immediately."

Helena's eyebrows rose. "Sam?"

The taller woman looked at Helena and said. "We need to talk behind closed doors" as she walked out of the office and through the Control Room to the Conference Room.

Helena frowned, the feelings of relief being replaced by feelings of dread, as she followed.

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"When you said you wanted to date someone who was military, I didn't know you were talking about the base XO!"

"So it would have been okay with anyone but _him_?! How much sense does _that_ make, Sam?"

John entered the conference room and immediately wished he hadn't.

"He is in your chain of command!"

"No, he's not! Not if we have the arrangement we spoke of. He does not do my evaluations; he does not make any decisions regarding the operation of the kitchen or any part of the food services in the city. I do the evaluations of my own people and submit them directly to you."

Sam turned to John. "How long has this been going on?" She demanded.

John looked Helena and sighed. "We decided to pursue it last night, but it's been stewing for a while."

"How long, Colonel?"

"How does it matter, Sam?" Helena interrupted. "How long has it been stewing between you and yours? Does it matter? What matters is now."

Sam took a step back like she'd been hit. Her eyes narrowed then and she took a step toward Helena. "What did you just say?"

"It's no secret, Sam, that you and the General had a thing for each other long before he was a General. Some thought that when you went to work at Area 51 and he got promoted out of the SGC, you would act finally have the opportunity to act on it. I don't know, maybe you have. I don't think so, because you're here and he's in charge of all that is Stargate."

Sam regarded her for a moment and took a deep breath, the she crossed her arms. "You're changing the subject."

"Yes, I am!" Helena said. "Because I want you to think about your own situation. Do a little compare and contrast exercise. If Jack O'Neill had been commander of SG1 and you hadn't been on that team, would you have pursued it?"

"He still outranked me."

"But would it have mattered? He wouldn't have been in command of you; he would have had no say in your career or vice versa." Helena threw her hands in the air. "Is there a computer in here?"

John stepped forward. "What, exactly, is the problem, Colonel?"

"The problem, John, is that if anything happens to me, you will be in command of this city again. Then, what?"

"Then…then we deal with it. It's not an issue right now."

Helena opened the door to the conference room and called out to Chuck to bring her a notebook computer. When he gave it to her, she walked back in and the door closed behind her again. She sat down at the table and began typing. "Army regulaton 600-20," she read. "Relationships between Soldiers of different rank are prohibited if they—(1) Compromise, or appear to compromise, the integrity of supervisory authority or the chain of command.' Not applicable because John is not my supervisor – I report directly to you, Sam, not to John; and it's more than obvious that I'm not _his_ supervisor." She looked back at the screen. "'(2) Cause actual or perceived partiality or unfairness.' How would that be applicable? I save the last piece of cake for him? I've done that in that past and, sorry, John," she grinned. "not just for him. I'm such a hussy."

Sam smiled despite herself.

Helena continued. "'(3) Involve, or appear to involve, the improper use of rank or position for personal gain.' Okay, I admit it, I've used position for personal gain," She winked at John. "But I don't think it's the kind the regs are talking about."

John began to cough at Helena's wicked grin. Sam gasped and snorted to keep a laugh held in.

As if completely oblivious to her previous remark, Helena continued. "'(4) Are, or are perceived to be, exploitative or coercive in nature.' Now we all know it's next to impossible to get me to do anything I don't want to do, so that's out. '(5) Create an actual or clearly predictable adverse impact on discipline, authority, morale, or the ability of the command to accomplish its mission.'" She looked up. "Will it create a 'predictable adverse impact on the ability of the command to accomplish its mission'?"

Sam looked at John, who'd just recovered, and he looked at her. Finally, she shrugged. "As long as you're not a member of his team, I don't see how it could." She took a deep breath. "Fine," she said. "But I want your word. Both of you. That _if_ the situation should arise where John is the military commander again, you will either break it off or one of you will resign."

Helena looked at John, who nodded, then she nodded.

"And, another thing, as far as SGC is aware, nothing is going on."

Helena grinned. "Actually, as far as the SGC is aware, I was supposed to have had John's baby a long time ago, but it didn't work out."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, Helena. General O'Neill never, for a moment, thought that you were pregnant. He was just relieved that you found your own way to get back so that you'd stop pestering him."

Helena's jaw dropped and she started laughing. John and Sam exchanged amused looks.

Sam frowned after a moment. "Seriously, guys, I just don't want this to become a problem. I don't want to lose either of you, so, if you start this, you have to consider and understand all the possible consequences."

Helena stood and looked at John, who examined her face and nodded. "We will," she said.

John frowned. "I think we do already."

Helena's eyebrow rose and he leveled an intense stare at her. She pinked and licked her lips, then turned away. "I have to…go…cook now."

Shaking her head, Sam chuckled despite her reservations. "Congratulations, you two. And good luck."

John followed closely after Helena and spoke lowly into her ear as they walked. "I can't believe you said that about personal gain."

She warmed slightly. "To be frank, neither can I, but I had to do something to diffuse the situation. She was never going to allow it if we kept such an antagonistic tone."

John shook his head. "Feels like we're teenagers asking for the car."

Helena scoffed. "Be glad we're not. My father was a Naval officer and a cop."

John paused. Then he nodded. "Yeah, that would have been _much_ harder than dealing with Sam."

They entered the transporter together. As soon as the doors closed, he pulled her into his arms. "So, what are you doing later?"

She pinked as she touched his bottom lip with her index finger. "Hopefully, you."

"Sounds good to me," he said, gruffly. "I, uh, wanted to see how you 'use position for personal gain'."

Her blush deepened. "Oh-kay!" She pressed against him. "I'm lookin' forward to it," she whispered just before he captured her lips in a kiss that she felt into her toes.


	6. Workout

John strolled into the cafeteria to see Helena leaning over the snack table, rearranging some fruit. He stopped in his tracks just to look at her. He imagined her covered in just her hair and smiled.

"What's up with you?"

John straightened and turned to see Rodney and Ronon standing next to him. He frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I was calling you," Rodney said, exasperated.

"Sorry, I was thinking."

Ronon looked in Helena's direction. "I'll bet," he smiled.

Rodney looked up at Ronon, then in the direction he was looking, just as Helena looked over at them.

She smiled a knowing smile at John, who smiled back and nodded at her.

Rodney smiled. "Ha! I knew it!"

John frowned and looked at Rodney. "What?"

"There _is_ something going on between you and Helena."

He smiled. "What makes you think that?"

Ronon smiled. "Maybe it's the drool."

Rodney grinned, smugly. "I knew it," he repeated, his eyes dancing.

John rolled his eyes. "What were you calling me for?"

Rodney raised a finger with a huge grin and looked at Ronon. "Notice that he is not denying it."

Ronon nodded. "I did."

John looked at them both and raised his eyebrows. "Rodney."

"What?"

"What were you calling me for?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just calling you to wait for us."

"Okay, so you're here."

"So, are we going to eat or just stand here _drooling_ over our lovely Chief of Food Services?" Rodney inquired, still smug.

John rolled his eyes and moved into the cafeteria. As they passed Helena, Rodney and Ronon said hello, while John just smiled at her.

She smiled her usual friendly hello to them all and moved to finish doing what she was doing.

After the men had moved through the service line and sat down to eat, Rodney leaned forward. "So?"

John frowned. "So?"

"So, are you and Helena an item?"

John took a deep breath and raised his eyebrows. Finally, he gave a small nod.

Ronon smiled widely and clapped John, heartily, on the back.

Rodney nodded, smugly. "I knew it."

John glared at Ronon for a second, then looked back at Rodney. "Yeah, well, we don't feel the need to be loud about it."

Rodney frowned and a look of realization covered his face. "Ah, the whole military thing, no doubt. Yes, yes, of course. Mum's the word." He looked over at Helena, who was now making her rounds around the cafeteria. "I have to tell you, I think she's a good match for you."

John frowned at Rodney. "What?"

Rodney nodded. "Sure. You two always seemed to have a connection. Even Carson saw it. He even told her that he'd be okay if you two hooked up."

John felt uncomfortable discussing the late CMO, who also happened to be Helena's last real romantic involvement, in this manner. He swallowed and shrugged his face.

Ronon continued to smile.

"Ronon?"

"I think it's a good match."

John sighed. "I'm glad you two approve."

Ronon finished his meal and stood. "I have to go." He grinned down at John. "I have a sparring lesson with your girlfriend."

John frowned up at him. "You're both a pain in the ass, you know."

Ronon wiggled his eyebrows, Sheppard-style.

John suddenly smiled. "Hey, Ronon, I have an idea…"

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Helena walked into the deserted sparring room of the gym, dressed in yoga pants and a midriff top that left her arms bare. She and Ronon always sparred in the empty sparring room because she didn't like people watching her try to keep up with the Satedan. She was glad he'd taken over her instruction from Teyla because he was gruffer, not allowing her to quit when she grew tired, pushing her beyond what she thought she could do.

"Sorry, I'm late, Ronon," she said, putting her bag on the bench by the window.

"No apologies necessary," a voice said from behind her.

She stiffened because she knew that voice and it wasn't Ronon's. She turned around, her eyebrow raised. "John?"

He smirked and raised his eyebrows at her. "I offered to step in for Ronon today because he had some reports to finish."

She crossed her arms. "Reports that suddenly _had_ to get done, now?"

He approached her. "They had to get done some time."

Avoiding him, she walked to the corner and picked up two _bantos_ sticks. "I came for a sparring lesson, John. If you're taking Ronon's place as my instructor," she tossed the sticks to him. "then instruct me."

He caught the sticks in the air and watched her pick up two more. He smiled at her. "Okay."

She paused. "Wait. You're not thinking of permanently taking over for Ronon as my instructor, are you?"

John frowned. "Why? Wouldn't you want me to?"

"No, offense, John, but you'd be too distracting."

He shook his head with a smile. "Well, don't worry. It's just for today."

They bowed to each other and then lifted their sticks to the ready, pacing around. He feinted and she prepared for the blow that didn't come. Finally, he did come for her. She blocked every blow, impressing him with how much she'd learned since he the first time he'd seen her practice with Teyla. Finally, he withdrew.

She stood across the room from him, her chest heaving from exertion. She smiled at him.

He narrowed his eyes. "Your turn."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You come at me."

She frowned. "What?"

"Part of a good defense is a strong offense. Surely Ronon has taught you some of that."

She nodded. "Yes, he has."

John smiled. "So let's see it."

She took a deep breath and held the sticks at the ready. He did so as well. She feinted a couple of times, then came at him. He parried each blow, feeling out her strategy. Then he fought back, putting her back on defense. She frowned and struck out on the offensive again. Back and forth they went until Helena called "Time!"

He pulled back quickly and she dropped the sticks and put her hands on her knees. Then she straightened, pulling in deep breaths. He used the time to catch his breath as well, watching her glistening chest move up and down. Helena's hair was damp and loose strands stuck to her face and neck, reminding him of something else.

He dropped his sticks and moved over to her. "You okay?"

She smiled. "Yeah," she panted. "I'm good. You?"

John shook his head. "I've been better," he growled, cupping her face in his hands and hungrily devouring her lips.

She put her hands on his chest and returned the kiss. Then, she pulled back. "John," she warned. "You're supposed to be teaching me."

His eyes locked intensely on hers. "I think your progress is impressive."

She smirked. "You're not doing too bad, yourself." Helena began to draw back, but John didn't let her go. "John?"

He growled. "I'm standing here watching you, covered in sweat, breathing heavy with this blush in your cheeks and it's reminding me of another workout."

She blushed through the flush of the exertion and she pushed him away. "Get your mind out of the gutter, old man."

He grinned. "What do you say we continue this work out at my place?"

She picked up one of the bantos sticks. "My place is closer."

He picked up one of the other sticks, kicking the rest to the side. They circled each other.

"Your place is just as good," he shrugged. He feinted and she parried.

"Actually, my place is better," she struck out and he defended. She withdrew, circling again.

"How's that?" he frowned.

"I have food and drink in mine."

He frowned, pausing. "I have food."

She struck out and almost caught him off-guard. "If you want to call MREs food."

John became impatient, then, and struck out, issuing blows that forced her to stay on the defensive until he had her off-balance enough to trip her. Once she went down, he threw the _bantos_ sticks to the side of the room, helped her up and began kissing her, moving his hands down her body to her sensitive stomach, send shivers through her. He walked her back to the nearest wall and pushed her against it as he pressed against her.

He felt her wind her hands up into his hair and she moved her leg up slightly to rub him in a very intimate part of his anatomy, sending electricity through his body.

He groaned against her mouth and lifted her up, slightly off her feet, so that she was actually wedged between him and the wall. He broke off the kiss to taste the saltiness of her neck.

She sighed a soft moan and clutched the back of his shirt.

Finally, after an eternity of kissing and touching, he put her back on her feet and withdrew. Wordlessly, she took him by the hand and led him over to pick up their bags and out into the hall, where they let go of each others' hands but continued the walk to her quarters together.


	7. Tired and Sick?

_Months later_

John was on his way to his quarters after a long day. He decided to take a detour to 'Lena's place, just to say hi. He was exhausted, but he felt the need to see her. It wasn't anything he could explain, so he didn't try. He figured trying to analyze it would just complicate things and he liked things simple. So he just accepted it as a thing and headed to her quarters.

The door opened when he signaled. He stuck his head in and frowned. "'Lena?"

The bed moved. A mass of red curls appeared from under the blankets. "Don't come too close, John. I'm coming down with something."

John went over to the bed, despite her warnings and sat next to her. He gently brushed her hair out of her face and touched her forehead. "What's wrong? Should I get Doctor Keller or Cole?"

She shook her head. "I feel like I've been run over by a bus. Nauseous and tired. I think I can beat it if I just get some rest. You should beat feet out of here or you'll catch it too."

He smiled. "Wasn't it you who once told me that you're exposed seven to fourteen days before showing symptoms? If that's true, I've been exposed already at least seven days ago. Especially since we've seen each other every day this week and…well, you know…several times."

She couldn't help but smile at his euphemism for sex – "well, you know" – even after all these months together.

"But if you're feeling sick, I should go get the doc."

She shook her head. "No, I'll be okay and if I don't feel better in the morning, I'll go see Dr. Cole."

John nodded.

"I'm sure it's just exhaustion."

John took a deep breath, allowing himself to feel his own exhaustion. "Well, you're tired and I'm tired, so," he reached down and started to unlace his boots.

She glanced around him and frowned. "What are you doing?"

He shrugged. "I'm getting comfortable. I'm going to stay here tonight, just in case you need something in the middle of the night."

Helena smiled. "You can be so sweet when you want to be."

He raised his eyebrows and looked back at her as he pulled off his socks. "It's not so much wanting to be. I just can't help myself."

She chuckled and leaned back.

He stood and took off his over shirt and pants so that he was dressed in a t-shirt and boxer briefs. Then he pulled back her blankets and climbed into the bed with her. He pulled her into his arms and settled against the pillows and sighed.

She cuddled up to him and smiled. "This is nice."

He yawned. "Yes. It is. Now go to sleep."

She chuckled and closed her eyes.

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John woke, spooning with Helena. He pulled her closer despite not being able to feel the arm that was trapped under her and enjoyed the scent of her hair.

She sighed, touched his arm as it held her and snuggled back as if trying to get even closer.

"How are you feeling?"

She smiled. "Better. My stomach's still a little mushy, but I could stay here all day, regardless."

He chuckled. "Me, too, but duty calls."

She held his arm, though. "You can't wait just a little while?"

John kissed her head. "No, because I am going to walk you to the infirmary."

She pulled away and turned over to face him. "I told you that I'm feeling better."

"But your stomach is still 'mushy'."

She cuddled up to him and kissed his neck. "What could I do to convince you that I'm feeling better?"

He recognized where this was going and pushed her back. "By going to the infirmary and getting a clean bill of health."

Helena sighed deeply. "Okay, fine. You're missing out, though."

He smiled and kissed her nose. "I'll take a rain check."

"Deal."

Helena pulled the covers back and swung her feet out. When she stood, she sat back down.

He was out of the bed in a shot and next to her in an instance. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Relax, John. I just stood up too fast. I didn't eat yesterday because of the way I was feeling. I'll be fine if I get some food in me."

He frowned at her. "Get dressed. We're going now."

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When they arrived at the infirmary, Helena found Dr. Cole. Then she turned to John, pointedly, and said. "I'm here. Doctor Cole is here. She will take care of me. You can go to your work out with Ronon, now."

John frowned.

Doctor Cole smiled and nodded. "I won't let her walk out until she tells me what's wrong and we find out what's causing it, Colonel. Go."

Helena narrowed her eyes, good-naturedly, at him and said. "Get out, John. I'll let you know if there is anything to worry about."

Frowning, John nodded and walked out.

Cole smiled. "How sweet was that?"

Helena chuckled.

"So what's the problem?"


	8. News

Helena's eyebrows furrowed over wide eyes as she looked at Dr. Cole.

"Are you okay?" The blonde medical doctor who had been her personal physician for four years asked.

"No," Helena said, slowly.

"I can run the test again."

Helena shook her head. "No, you already ran it twice. I trust you. It's just that…"

Cole smiled. "It's a shock."

Helena frowned at her. "To say the least."

"So I take it that you weren't looking for this to happen?"

Helena gave Cole a "well, duh" look and said. "You _know_ the answer to that question."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. "No." She took a deep, shaking breath. "But I'm going to have to."

She stood, then. "I need to go."

"Okay, but I want you back tomorrow to go over…" Cole started but stopped as she watched her friend and patient walk out of the infirmary, seeming slightly off-balance.

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John was drenched in sweat. Ronon was trying his best to beat him senseless and he was trying his best to avoid it. It seemed like they'd been sparring in the gym forever. John had made the mistake of saying he needed to get his mind off 'things' and Ronon seemed to take the job seriously.

The door opened and Helena entered. She stepped to the right of the door and rested against the wall, watching.

John signaled Ronon to stop. "'Lena?"

She didn't look him in the eyes as she said. "Hello, Ronon, John."

He frowned. "Something's wrong." He meant it to come out as a question, but it was a statement.

She nodded. "I need to talk to you."

He frowned and glanced at Ronon, who nodded. He moved over to her and looked at her. "What is it?" he asked softly.

She seemed like she was shaking. In light of the fact that she'd been ill, his concern began to change into fear. His frown deepened. "'Lena?"

She shook her head, still looking down. "Not here," she whispered. Then she walked out of the gym.

John glanced at Ronon, who looked concerned as well and said "Go", and he grabbed his bag and ran after her.

He caught up with her as she walked to her quarters. He walked with her, waiting for her to speak, but she didn't. Even after they entered her place, she was silent.

Finally, he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms to just hold her. She was obviously distraught, but not ready to talk about it, so he just held her. She clung to him like her life depended on it until, finally, she pulled away and sat down.

Fearing the worst, he asked, again. "What is it, 'Lena?" He frowned at her response, which was so low he was certain he'd heard it wrong. "What?"

She closed her eyes. "I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened and his eyebrows rose. "What?" he repeated.

She looked down at her hands. "I'm pregnant."

His mind started spinning. He turned to look at the refrigerator in her room as he fought to process what she'd just said. He turned back to her, his eyebrows knitted together and he licked his lips as he spoke. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Cole ran the test twice."

"I thought…" he stopped. "I…" He ran his hand though his hair. "Wow." He took a deep breath and let it out in relief when he suddenly realized that she hadn't said she was dying as he'd initially feared.

The look on her face suddenly reminded him of a conversation she'd told him about with Carson. How part of the reason they'd split up was because the late doctor had wanted children and she didn't. Worried again, he hit his knees in front of her and took her hands.

"Helena," he asked, gently. "Is there any medical reason why you should not get pregnant?"

She sniffled and shook her head.

Relief filled him again. After a minute, something clicked and he smiled. "Then I think it's great."

She looked at him, tears in her eyes. "Really?"

He grinned, widely. "Yeah. Really. I think it's great."

She frowned. "But I'm forty years old, John. My cut off was thirty-five. I was certain it wouldn't happen…"

He shook his head. "Haven't you heard? Forty is the new twenty. You're gorgeous and healthy and there's no reason to worry that this will harm you, is there?"

She shook her head.

"And the baby? Is there any reason to think it will be dangerous for the baby?"

She shook her head again. "I don't think so."

He smiled again. "Then I think it's fantastic!"

She sniffed, again, still looking like she was unsure. Actually, she looked terrified.

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly and slowly. "We're having a baby, 'Lena," he smiled after. "Please be happy with me." Then a thought crossed his mind and he frowned again, drawing back. "Is it because it's my child?"

She pulled back. "Have you lost your mind?" she frowned at him. "If I had to choose from all the men I know to have a child with, it would be you."

He relaxed. He slipped up on the couch next to her and pulled her into his arms. "Let it out, 'Lena. Whatever it is, let it out. I'm here."

She clung to him, not crying, but simply holding on to him. After a long time, she spoke.

"I got married when I was eighteen, John. Mike and I didn't want to have kids right away, so we waited. We started trying when I was twenty-five. It didn't happen. It wasn't the entire reason for our divorce, but it was a contributing factor. He blamed me. Hell, I blamed me. When we separated, I gave up on the idea."

She stood and wrapped her arms around herself. "Afterwards, there were so many times that I forgot to take my pill and thought it might happen, and when it didn't, I really believed that I wasn't able. My doctor told me I was fine, but I didn't believe it. Not really. Especially when I found out Mike and his second wife had two kids. When I hit thirty-five, I decided I wouldn't even consider it an option anymore." She sighed, deeply. "I guess I don't know what to think."

He stood and moved to her. "Did you forget your pill while with me?"

She shook her head. "No. Not once. It shouldn't have happened. There's only a 0.1 chance of getting pregnant on the pill."

He frowned. "Is it okay to get pregnant while on the pill?"

"Cole says that it won't harm the baby but to, obviously, stop taking it now."

He put his arms around her again and spoke into her ear. "Think how strong my airmen must be. Conquering the unconquered despite 99.9 odds."

She pulled back and looked at him, incredulous. "Did you just say 'airmen'?"

He nodded. "They wouldn't be 'seamen'; I'm in the Air Force, not the Navy."

She laughed through her nose. "Airmen." Then at his look of immense pride, she laughed in spite of herself. "You are incorrigible."

He smiled back. "I am."

Her smile faltered. "I never even asked you how you felt about having kids."

He shrugged. "I never really thought about it. No reason to. When I finally got into a serious relationship, it was with a woman who'd told me she didn't want any." He rubbed her arms. "I'm liking the idea, though."

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I won't lie, John. I'm terrified."

John smiled. "I'm not goin' anywhere, 'Lena. You're not alone." He tilted her head up and kissed her softly. "I'm going to make sure you have everything you need for you and this baby." Then he kissed her again.

This time the tears that escaped were more of happiness. "Thank you, John."

"I'm going to be a dad, 'Lena," he said, in a tone of wonder.

She sniffed and nodded with a smile. "You'll be a great one."

He picked her up and swung her around. Then, just as suddenly, he put her down and looked at her, suddenly worried. "Are you okay?"

She laughed. "I'm not that fragile, John."

He knelt to his knees and hugged her waist, putting an ear to her stomach. Then he kissed her there through her clothes.

She extricated herself from him and knelt down so that they were both on their knees. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Thank you, John."

He looked straight into her eyes, intently. "Thank _you_, 'Lena."

_A/N: Here you go Duchess67; you're finally getting something you requested long ago during "Snacks". Couldn't do it there, because that follows canon, for the most part, but since this is AU…enjoy!_


	9. Later

John stopped by Helena's quarters late that evening. When he didn't find her there, he knew exactly where she'd gone – since he knew she hadn't gone into work at all.

The West Pier was far from the occupied part of the city. It was the reason it was her favorite thinking spot. Nobody, except for John, went there, day or night. The view was fantastic and there was always a nice breeze. Her kitchen staff knew that they could find her there, but they were intuitive enough to know if she was there during duty hours, she needed a break from everything.

He walked out the doors and found her standing in a robe with her long hair flying wildly behind her. Her arms were crossed and holding her own waist.

"'Lena? You okay?"

She turned. She smiled softly. "Hello, John."

He walked over to her. "Are you okay?" he repeated.

She shrugged. "To be honest, I'm scared to death."

He put his arms around her. "About?"

She looked up at him. "'About?' Do you really need to ask?"

"I know you're worried, 'Lena, but why be scared?"

"I don't know the first thing about babies, John. I was an only child. My only experience with children has been a cousin I had who had a baby when I was nine. It's not like there are other women here who have had babies in the city that I can turn to for advice." She took a deep breath. "I'm just not comfortable with the unknown aspects, I guess."

John smiled at her. "I wonder if anyone is comfortable with them. We'll figure it out together."

She sighed and curled into him. "You know, it really is great that you are so okay about this."

He smiled. "I'm not 'okay about this'," he said. "I think it's great. Really, 'Lena. But I've gotta tell ya, I'm still terrified. This is new to me, too, you know."

Helena looked up at him. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. And I'll probably get more scared when he's born."

Her eyebrows rose. "'He'? What if it's a 'she'?"

John smiled, looking at her hair whipping in the wind. "Can she have red hair and blue eyes?"

Helena grinned. "I rather like your dark hair with my blue eyes."

John whistled. "She'd be knock-out."

Helena smiled. "Or _he'd_ be a heart-breaker, like his father."

John sighed. "Either way, we're going to have our hands full when it comes to dating age."

She shook her head. "Whoa! Can we get through the pregnancy and diaper age before we start thinking about that?"

"Speaking of diapers, when are…uh," he frowned. "I think it's called 'due date'?"

Her eyes widened. "You know, to be honest, I didn't think to ask. I was so shocked that I didn't ask anything."

John nodded. "Understandable."

She looked down, then. "I can't be that far along. I haven't noticed any weight gain."

He grinned. "Neither have I."

She grinned back, then stepped into his space. "Have you really been paying attention?"

"What are you trying to say?" he frowned. "That I'm not looking at you when we…well, you know."

She laughed out loud and hugged him. "Are you ever going to get comfortable with the word 'sex'?"

John suddenly looked uncomfortable. "I'm comfortable with the word. It's just…" he looked out, over her head, at the ocean. Then he sighed.

She frowned. Letting go of him, she stepped back to look at his face. "What is it, John?"

He looked at her with narrowed eyes, then back out to the ocean. "I don't think of…what we do…when we're together," he took a deep breath. "As 'sex'."

She frowned for a moment, then slowly a smile replaced the frown on her lips. She stepped in and wrapped her arms around him again. "Oh, John."

He cleared his throat and continued to look out to the ocean, but put his arms around her.

She reached up then and kissed his neck. Then her hands found their way under his shirt and her fingers began to trace feather light circles on his skin.

He looked down at her and was met with a kiss that was slow and deliberate. He responded in kind even as he felt his body react to her touch. He pulled her tight against him and relished the feel of her. His hands found their way under her robe, to find she was only wearing a filmy camisole under it. He pulled back and, frowning, looked at her.

"What?" she asked.

"You travelled all the way from your place here in a robe and underwear?"

She chuckled. "Would it make you feel better if I say I used the transporter?"

"Did you?"

"If it makes you feel better," she laughed. "Come on, John. It's the middle of the night. The only people who are up are a few scientists and those people working in the control room. I didn't pass one person the entire way here. Did you?"

John frowned. "No, but…"

She pulled her robe open the rest of the way. She took one of his hands and placed it over her heart, then with a wicked grin, moved just to the right, so that his hand now covered her breast. "But, what, my love?" Then she reached for him.

He growled and walked her backwards until she was against the wall, then picked her up, kissing her hungrily. He broke the kiss and started tasting her neck and she pulled his shirt up in the back to encourage him to remove it. Setting her back down, he pulled back to remove his shirt, but then stopped. He pulled back another step.

"What?" she panted.

He took a deep breath to get himself back under control. Without meaning to, his eyes went to her still flat stomach.

"Aw, _what_?"

He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry."

She frowned. "For what?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

She looked confused. "How would you hurt me?"

"The baby."

"The ba – " She smiled suddenly. "Oh."

He frowned at her. "Are you laughing at me?"

As her eyes danced, she bit her lip and shook her head. "No." She cleared her throat and tried to stop smiling, but failed miserably. "Ah, John." She giggled.

He crossed his arms. "Helena."

She bit her lip again. "The baby is in my uterus. If I remember sex ed. correctly, there is a wall that keeps…_you_…from going into my uterus." She sidled up to him. "It only feels like you're in my ribcage."

He frowned. "If you don't mind," he said, quietly. "I'd like to wait until the doc says…"

She sighed and let go. "Okay," she chuckled. "I can wait…I may be crazy come morning, but, okay."

He pulled her robe back up to cover her shoulders. "I hope you don't get upset, but I'm going to walk you back to your place and then go sleep at mine."

She frowned up at him. "What? You don't even want to sleep…?" Then she smiled. "Aw, John, Are you saying that I'm impossible to resist?"

John chuckled. "Repeated exposure tends to wear down one's resistance."

She laughed. "Okay, gorgeous man, walk me home."


	10. Doctor's Visit

Bright and early the next morning, John arrived at Helena's door. He swiped his hand at the controls and her door opened. She was on the other side of the door, dressed.

Before he could say a word, she glanced around the corridor, then grabbed him and pulled him into the room, allowing the door to close behind him. Then she pushed him against the wall and kissed him, ravenously, her hands snaking up his chest and around his neck as she pressed against him.

Once he recovered from his initial shock, he put his arms around her and began to kiss her back. After a long moment, he pulled away and fought to regain his senses after the assault. "Good morning, 'Lena."

She narrowed her eyes. "Good morning, John," she said, lowly, with a familiar look in her eyes. She reached up to kiss him again, but he took her shoulders and pushed her back.

"Helena," he warned. "We agreed to wait."

She sighed her frustration. "I know, I know, but I've been thinking about you all night. Told you I'd be crazy by morning."

He smiled at her. "Well, if it makes you feel better, my shower was bit on the cold side this morning."

She sidled up to him again with mischievous look in her eye. "Cold showers do nothing for me, John."

He firmly returned her to arms length. "The sooner we go see Doc Cole, the sooner we can come back here."

She frowned. "You're not working today?"

He shook his head. "No pressing ops. I told Sam that I was taking some personal time. If she needs me, she'll page me."

She smiled, then, and took his hand. "Then let's go."

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When the scanner finished its journey down the length of her body, Helena sat up. She looked over at Cole, who was studying the results. Then she looked at John, who had a decidedly concerned look on his face. She smiled and patted his hand to offer reassurance.

"Everything looks fine," Cole said, finally. "You're at about nine weeks by the looks of things."

"So, only thirty-one weeks to go," Helena said.

Cole chuckled. "Yeah. I'm going to want you to come in once a week to monitor your progress."

"Once a week?"

"On Earth, I would have you see your Ob/Gyn once a month until the final trimester, but since we're here and this will be the first Earth child born in the Pegasus Galaxy, I want to keep a closer eye on you." Cole smiled. "Especially since Obstetrics isn't my specialty. But then, Obstetrics isn't anyone's specialty here. Also, since you are forty, I'd like to be extra diligent."

Helena nodded. "Can you tell me what to expect?"

Cole smiled. "All things running according to plan, you will notice increased fatigue in the first three months. You have already experienced some of the nausea that is commonly called 'morning sickness', though it can come at anytime during the day. If you experience anything more than nausea, let me know. You may experience an increase in libido, which is common with the hormonal changes your body is going through – especially in the second trimester. You may have some swelling of the feet or ankles, especially if you spend a lot of time on your feet." She paused and her smile widened. "I finally have a medical reason to tell you to stop working so much."

Helena laughed. "You've told me that repeatedly anyway."

"Well, now, you _have_ to cut back. You are going to be feeling more tired and you need the rest, remember that your body is sending the majority of its energy to this new life it's building."

John spoke up. "I'll make sure she rests. We'll limit how much time she can spend in the cafeteria, if we have to."

Helena rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll behave, but I _like_ my work. It's fun and relaxing to me. I get bored sitting in my quarters all the time."

Cole looked understanding. "You can spend time in the cafeteria, if you want to, but not on your feet, working."

She nodded. "Ah," she pinked and glanced at John. "You mentioned an increase in libido."

Cole grinned. "Yes, you can, all you want, any way that makes you feel comfortable." The blonde doctor gained a wicked twinkle in her eye as she said. "You may even feel the need to be more creative as time goes by."

"_More_ creative," John repeated, looking intently at Helena, who blushed furiously.

Cole chuckled again. "Alright, kids, get out of here. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to call me, day or night."

Helena thanked her and hopped down off the scanner table. "Oh, Kat."

Cole turned. "Yes?"

"Is there anything, as far as diet and exercise I should or should not be doing?"

"Eat whatever you want to but don't get it into your head that you can eat as much as you want because you're 'eating for two'. Continue to exercise but no _bantos_ sparring or high impact. I would suggest getting use out of those stationary bikes in the gym or going for walks."

Helena nodded. "Thanks, Doc."

Helena and John walked out of the infirmary together. After a bit of silence, Helena frowned and looked at John. "What's wrong?"

John shook his head. "Nothing."

Her eyebrows knitted together because it didn't seem like "nothing" was bothering him. It definitely seemed like "something", but she let it go as they returned to her quarters.

Once inside, she turned to him. "Talk to me, John. What is going through your mind?"

He looked at her, through narrowed eyes and said, in an awe-filled voice. "I saw the heartbeat."

Relief washed over her and a smile spread across her face. "I know."

"It's really real, 'Lena."

She nodded. "Yeah."

Smiling, he put his arms around her in a gentle hug. "We're really having a baby."

"I know."

"I should have asked how soon we can find out the sex."

Helena beamed up at him. "Do you want to know?"

"Yes. Don't you?"

She nodded. "Yesterday. You know I'm too impatient to have to wait."

He kissed her, then, a whisper of a kiss, gently tasting and teasing her lips with his.

She sighed into his embrace, reveling in the way his kiss could cause her eyes to cross and her toes to curl. Something familiar stirred within her and she flicked her tongue out to deepen the kiss.

He cupped her head in his hands and accepted the more thorough kiss invitation, gently ravishing her mouth, until she felt weak in the knees.

When he released her, she blinked a couple of times to straighten out her eyes. "You said you took the _whole day_ off?"

He smiled at her. "Yes."

"Hmmm." Helena's grin was evil as she grasped his belt buckle. "I can think of something that might take up a couple of hours of that day."

"A couple hours? And Cole said your libido will increase in the _second_ _trimester_? I'm in so much trouble."

She warmed under the intensity of his gaze. "But won't it be a fun sort of trouble?"

"When should we tell everyone?" He suddenly said.

She frowned. "I think pretty much everyone knows we're sleeping together now, John."

His hands found her ribcage and tickled her into squirming out of reach. "I mean when should we tell everyone about the baby?"

She frowned. "I have to tell Sam today, I suppose." Then she grinned again. "But it doesn't have to be right now."

Taking her into his arms again, he grinned. "I'm okay with waiting a few hours."

"Oh, yay…we've gone from a 'couple' to a 'few'!"

With that, he devoured her mouth with all the wanting and the hunger he'd been fighting since finding out about their pregnancy. They quickly peeled off each other's clothing, touching and tasting, as though they hadn't seen each other in weeks. Effortlessly, he picked her up and walked across the room where he laid her gently on the bed.

When he lay down beside her, his hand went to her stomach. He paused for a moment, just looking at his hand there. Then her hand covered his and he looked down into her eyes. "You are so beautiful."

She smiled. "I hope you still think so when I'm as big as a house."

He brushed her hair back from her forehead and looked at her intently. "You will be even more beautiful when your belly is big with my son or daughter."

Her eyes moistened with his sentiment and she reached up to pull him down to kiss her.


	11. Spreading The News

Sam smiled as she looked from Helena to John and back. Then she looked around the room. "Where's the camera?"

Helena and John exchanged curious looks.

"Excuse me?" John asked, his eyebrows rising to his hairline.

Sam stood. "This is a joke, right?"

Helena swallowed and glanced over to John, who suddenly looked concerned. She cleared her throat and looked down to her hands, then back to Sam. "No joke."

Sam sat back down, hard. "You're sure?"

Helena smiled, suddenly. "Sure of what? That it's not a joke or that I am pregnant?"

Sam shook her head, as if the clear it. "Both."

Helena nodded. "Yes. It's been confirmed by blood test and by scans run and rerun by Doctor Cole."

Sam suddenly looked at a loss for words.

Helena sat forward from her relaxed position in Sam's plush chairs. "Are you okay?"

Sam smiled, then. "I'm just imagining General O'Neill's reaction: 'What, again?'"

Helena smiled. "It's for real this time."

"Is this going to be a problem?" John asked, cutting to the chase.

Sam shook her head. "If we were at the SGC, I would say 'none' provided, again, that you two are not in each other's direct chains of command," she lifted a hand to curtail Helena's response. "Which I know you're not. We've established that." She took a deep breath. "I honestly don't know. I would assume you want to stay here."

Helena frowned. "I – Of course!" She tilted her head with her eyebrows up. "Sam, if they try to recall me, I'll resign."

John frowned. "Hold on," he sat forward and motioned to the computer on Sam's desk. "Can't you look up the Army Regulations? I mean, since she's Army and not Air Force – not that I would know what the Air Force regs would be, but, well" he motioned again. "You know."

Helena heard "well, you know" and snorted a small laugh through her nose without meaning to.

John looked at her askance.

She shook her head, furiously, with her eyes dancing.

He frowned, clearly not understanding, and looked back at Sam, who was already looking up the regulation.

"Okay, let's see…'must confirm with medical personnel', done. 'Physical profiles', Doctor Cole will be doing the paperwork on that. Oh, here we go 'the soldier should not be reassigned to or from overseas commands until pregnancy is terminated.' There you go." She looked up from the computer. "You don't have to go anywhere."

Helena frowned. "I don't like the term 'terminated', though."

John reached over and patted her hand. "The important thing is that you don't have to go anywhere."

She smiled at him.

Sam smiled, too, and stood and moved around her desk. "So, let me ask one important question, Helena, not as the base commander or lead administrator of the expedition, but as your friend. Are you truly happy about this? I know it had been a sensitive spot between you and…" she glanced at John and sort of grimaced. "Mike."

Helena stood. "I am, Sam. I really am. I'm scared to death, but I'm also happy."

Sam beamed and hugged her friend. "Then, congratulations."

John stood, then, and was surprised when Sam hugged him, too.

"Congratulations, John."

He smiled. "Thanks, Sam."

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Rodney and Ronon arrived at the door of the cafeteria at the same time.

"Oh. Hello, Ronon."

Ronon nodded. "Sheppard call you?"

"Yeah. You?" At Ronon's look, he rolled his eyes. "Of course, he did, if you're asking me."

Teyla arrived then. "Rodney, Ronon."

"Do you know what's going on?" Rodney asked.

Ronon frowned. "I wonder if it has something to do with Helena."

Rodney suddenly looked concerned. "Why? What do you know?"

Ronon shook his head. "Only that she wasn't feeling well and very upset yesterday."

Teyla frowned. "I think that we should go in instead of standing out here, imagining the worst."

She walked in first, followed by Ronon and Rodney.

It was late and the cafeteria was deserted. They looked around and saw John and Helena sitting next to each other at the team's usual table. They appeared to be speaking quietly to each other until John saw his team and signaled them over.

"What's wrong?" Rodney asked, without preamble as he sat down. "Ronon said you were upset and not feeling well. Are you okay?" he asked Helena, then looked at John.

Helena laughed softly. "Relax, Rodney," she smiled. "I'm fine."

"It's actually what we wanted to talk to you all about," John said.

Teyla nodded. "Tell us, John, please."

Helena looked at John and he looked at her. She nodded to him and he shook his head, which made her laugh. "Chicken shit."

He frowned at her. "I am not."

"No?" She asked with her eyebrows raised in challenge.

His eyebrows rose. "No. I just think you deliver the news better."

"What? Hey, I have 'delivered the news' twice in two days, Mister."

He started to smile. "And, therefore, you have more experience than I do."

"Will you two just spit it out, already?" Rodney snarked.

Helena narrowed her eyes at John and then took a deep breath. "We wanted to let you know that you'll be getting a new member to your team in about thirty-one weeks."

Rodney frowned and glanced over to Ronon, who looked confused.

"What do you mean 'another team member'?" Rodney started. "And thirty-one weeks? That's almost eight months from now; why are you telling us now? Who is it?" Rodney's eyes widened. "Does this mean that one of us is being replaced? Sheppard, are you being recalled? Oh, god. Is it me? Am I being recalled?"

"Rodney!" John shouted after trying to get his friend's attention three times during his litany of questions.

"What? Come on, John, you know I can't stand surprises."

Helena smiled. "Well, _that_ is obvious."

Ronon looked faintly amused, but concern shown clearly from his eyes as he looked at Helena. "Are you okay?" he asked, lowly.

She smiled. "It depends on your definition of 'okay'. Actually, I'm really good." She glanced at John, whose gaze back at her was intense, and warmed. "Getting better all the time."

"Helena and I are expecting a baby," John announced suddenly.

Ronon, Teyla and Rodney stared at him in stunned silence.

Helena and John looked back, waiting.

Ronon was the first to react. He catapulted out of his chair, sending it flying out behind him, reached across the table and pulled John up, by the shoulders, and into a bear hug that would put all bear hugs through the course of history to shame.

Teyla then stood, smiling broadly.

Helena, who had stood when Ronon's chair went flying, met her halfway around the table.

When the two friends hugged, Teyla said. "Congratulations."

When Ronon was finished banging on John's back, he approached Helena. He looked like he wanted to grab her as he had John, but refrained from doing so.

So Helena hugged him.

When she released him, he tilted her head up, leaned down and gently kissed her cheek. Then he wrapped his arms around her. "Congratulations," he said, softly.

When he released her, she was beaming. She looked over to John who was being hugged by Teyla. Then she looked at Rodney.

He was frowning.

"Rodney?" She moved over to the chair Teyla had abandoned, next to him, and sat down.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes."

"How did this happen?"

John smiled. "Rodney, do I have to explain the birds and the bees--?"

"Well, I _know_ that part," Rodney snapped. "I mean, I didn't know you were trying. I thought you," he looked at Helena. "didn't want kids. I mean you and Carson—"

"Rodney," John warned.

"It's okay, John; it's a fair question." Helena put her hand on Rodney's arm. "Carson and I ended it because he wanted kids and I didn't. This wasn't planned. I never thought it would happen; in fact, I was taking steps to _keep_ it from happening." She glanced over to Teyla and Ronon, who were now looking concerned. "But it _has_ happened."

"So is this not a happy occasion?" Teyla asked.

"It _is_!" Helena assured them all. "It's a gift fate has given us and, though I am scared to death, I am _very_ happy."

Rodney looked at John, who nodded. Then he looked at Helena. He patted her hand. "Congratulations, then."

She smiled at John, who smiled back at her.

Rodney, then, stood and went over to offer his hand to John. "I'm sure you'll be a great dad, and whatnot."

Helena chuckled softly at the two men who were more uncomfortable with emotion than anyone she'd ever seen.

They shook hands, then parted awkwardly.

Teyla took Rodney's vacated seat. "So you are how far along?"

"Nine weeks."

"Have you had any sickness?"

"Just nausea."

"I know that none of the women here have children, so if you feel that you need to speak to someone for advice, I have friend who has been through this many times. I can bring her hear to talk to you – or you can go to New Athos – "

"Helena's not allowed to go off-world until after the baby is born," John interrupted.

Teyla smiled. "I see."

Helena too her friend's hand, gratefully. "I would love the opportunity to talk to your friend, though, Teyla. Thank you. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"I'm sure it will come to you," Teyla reassured her.

"And you're not going through it alone," Ronon smiled, clapping John on the back hard enough to make him stagger.

Helena smiled, even as John glared at Ronon. "Careful, there, big guy, I'm going to need in him in one piece."

Ronon's grin was wide. "Why? Didn't he already do his job?"

"_Ronon!_" Teyla scolded as Helena laughed.

John shot the taller man a dirty look to which Ronon responded with a chuckle.

"Oh, his job's not over by a long shot." Helena chuckled, as she winked at John.

John sighed and shook his head. "If today is any indication, I'll be dead by the time this child is born." He looked pointedly at Helena.

Helena gasped aloud, turned red and stared at him, wide-eyed.

He grinned back at her as if to say "You had it coming."

"Oh, come on!" Rodney groaned. "Will you two stop already?"

"What's the matter, Rodney?" Teyla teased. "You can't stand to see two people in love?"

Helena's breath caught in her throat and she glanced at John, who was now staring at the table. Quickly, she looked away.

Ronon caught this non-exchange and clapped John hard on the back again.

John glared at him. He smiled back at John and motioned for John to walk with him as Rodney walked over to the snack table to get a snack and water for them.

Teyla leaned close to Helena and lowered her voice to speak in hushed tones. "I hope I didn't speak out of turn."

Helena frowned. "When?"

"When I said you and John were in love."

"Oh," Helena looked at her hands on the table.

"Helena?"

"Don't worry, Teyla. You didn't say anything wrong." Helena smiled.

Teyla frowned, her eyebrow raised. "But you do love him."

Helena took a deep breath. "We've never actually put it into words."

Teyla smiled, knowingly. "Anyone can see it, Helena. It was no surprise to me when you two decided to pursue each other. I hope you and John will come to terms with it." She chuckled. "It is odd how you are so expressive and affectionate – a 'mother hen' – but the idea of loving John makes you uncomfortable."

"It's not that." Helena shrugged. "I guess I just don't want to complicate things."

Teyla looked at her intently. "I would say 'things' are 'complicated' now, aren't they?"

Rodney arrived back at the table and their conversation turned to things like morning sickness and swollen feet.

Meanwhile, Ronon and John were a few tables away when Ronon said to John. "Exciting news."

John nodded. "Yeah, it is."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

John looked up. "What do you mean?"

"On Sateda, when a man and a woman decide to have a child together, there is a marriage involved at some point."

John paused. "That's usually the case on Earth, too."

"Well?"

John frowned. "If you're asking me if we're going to get married – "

"I am."

"I don't know. We haven't talked about it," he began to walk again.

Ronon caught his arm. "I want you to know, Sheppard, that I think of you as a brother and my commanding officer, but I also think of her as a sister. I'll do what I need to protect her honor."

John turned to face Ronon. "Are you threatening me?" his eyes were narrowed.

Ronon smiled his feral, animalistic smile that told an opponent he was ready to kick ass. "Take it as you wish."

John took a deep breath to calm himself and keep his voice level. "Look, I don't need you to tell me what my responsibilities are, Ronon. Even if I asked her, I'm not sure she'd say yes. She doesn't even want to get married."

Ronon's smile remained. "Things change, Sheppard. She didn't want kids either, right?"

John pursed his lips.

Ronon dipped his head. "Listen, I just want to make sure she doesn't get hurt," he said, lowly.

John suddenly felt his heart swell with appreciation. He knew, now, without a doubt, that if anything ever happened to him, Ronon would be the fierce protector of Helena and his child. He nodded. "Thanks, Ronon."

Ronon nodded and walked back to where Rodney was looking increasingly uncomfortable with the women.

John looked over to the table as Ronon turned a chair around and straddled it. What he saw was his family: a fierce kid brother, an intellectual almost-twin brother, a big-hearted sister and the mother of his child.

He stared at Helena and thought of Teyla's words. He knew eventually he'd have to say the words but something kept him from it. He knew he wanted her with him forever – he'd figured that out way back when she'd gone out with Lakatos and the thought of her with someone else almost drove him to madness. And now, they were having a child together. It was almost too much to take in.

"_If I had to choose from all the men I know to have a child with, it would be you."_

Her words came floating back to him and his gut did the same tight, twisty thing it did when she first said them.

She looked over at him then and his insides flipped around. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

He still didn't know if they would ever get married, but he did know he would be with her as long as she would have him and maybe someday he'd find a way to put his thoughts and feelings into words.

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Late that night, John and Helena lay in her bed, his hand resting on her abdomen and hers on his hand. He propped himself up on one arm and looked down at her, lying there with her long hair splayed out on the pillow, like a crown, and the flush of their love-making still in her face. He kissed her swollen lips, very lightly.

She smiled up at him as he drew back. "Are you very happy, John?"

"I've never been happier."

She smiled.

"You?" he asked. "Are you still scared?"

"It's a more manageable fear, now. I can get through it as long as you're here." She reached up and touched his cheek, now stubbly.

He looked intently into her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, 'Lena. I'm here as long as you want me."

Her eyes moistened. "That may be a rather long time, John."

His eyes darkened and his eyebrows furrowed. "As long as you want me."

She reached up and kissed him, then, a sweet gentle kiss. Then she turned to her side, her back to him, and curled up into him, still holding his hand on her stomach.

He curled up with her and relaxed to drift into sleep, holding her. After what seemed like a long time, just as he was about to doze off, he thought he heard her say:

"What if I want you forever?"

She said it so softly that he was sure she hadn't meant for him to hear it, so he pretended to be asleep. After a while, he could tell she's fallen asleep, so he tightened his arms around her and pulled her close, finally drifting off to sleep himself, with a smile on his face.


	12. Fear

John walked through the Stargate, smiling at something that Ronon had said before they walked into the event horizon.

Sam was waiting there with a tightness around her mouth and eyes that told John something was wrong.

He frowned. "Colonel?"

Sam swallowed. "John, it's Helena. She's been taken to the infirmary. Apparently, she was bleeding…"

Before she could finish, John had unhooked his P90, handing it to Ronon as he took off running down the corridor. Ronon handed the weapon off to the Marine standing there, who also took Rodney's and Teyla's.

"What does it mean that she 'was bleeding'?" Rodney asked, looking in the direction that John ran.

Sam shook her head. "I don't know, Rodney, but I wouldn't think it's a good thing when a woman in her 10th week of pregnancy starts bleeding."

Ronon and Teyla exchanged looks and took off running after John. Rodney sighed and started to walk after them when Sam took his arm.

"Sorry, Rodney," she frowned. "But someone needs to brief me on the mission."

Rodney threw up his hands. "What, _now_?"

She looked apologetic.

"Fine, fine. To your office?"

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John arrived to the infirmary at a full run. He ran into Jennifer Keller, literally. "Doc!"

Keller grabbed John to keep from falling back into the nearby gurney. "Colonel!" She righted herself. "She's with Dr. Cole under the scanner. I was just on my way there."

John eyebrows furrowed. "How is she? The baby?"

Jennifer put her hand on his. "I don't know, Colonel, but we'll find out now."

Together, they walked into the scanner room. Helena was laying on the table as the scanner was slowly moving up her body. John rushed to her side.

She was silent, but there was fear etched on her face. When she saw him, the tears sprang from her eyes and ran down the sides of her face into her hair and ears. "John," she whispered, clearly terrified.

John took her hand and leaned down to brush her hair back from her forehead. His finger gently wiped the moisture from her face. "Ssh, 'Lena. I'm here."

Over at the scanner display, Jennifer and Kat Cole exchanged sympathetic looks. Then Cole frowned at the display. "Colonel, I'm so sorry, but you're going to have step back."

John frowned at her, then reluctantly let go of Helena's hand and stepped back. "I'm right here."

"I'm sorry, John," Helena said from the bed.

"Stop," he said, sharply. "Don't think like that." He looked impatiently at the Ancient equipment as it silently glided over her. "Just talk to me. What happened?"

Helena took a deep breath. "I was feeling tired after breakfast, so I went back to my quarters to take a nap. When I woke up," her voice caught in her throat. "I got up and…" she sniffed, her chin quivering as she fought back the tears and the fear that threatened to overwhelm her. "There was a gush, like I'd wet my pants. When I got to the bathroom…" her face began to crumple. "there was so…much…"

He took a step to go to her and stopped himself. "Okay, okay, never mind that right now," he said, quickly, glaring over to the two doctors watching the display. "We'll figure it out, 'Lena. I'm not going anywhere." He caught sight of Ronon and Teyla at the door. He motioned for Teyla to come to him and stepped off toward the wall.

"How is she?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. They haven't said anything. She started bleeding in her quarters." He licked his lips and frowned. "Teyla, do you think you get someone in there to clean it up? She says it was a lot of blood. I don't want her to go back to that…just in case…"

Teyla offered a reassuring smile. "Ronon and I will see to it." She grasped his arm. "If you need anything else…"

He nodded, then turned as he heard a beep. He turned to see the scanner start its journey back to its resting location. As soon as the scanner was finished running, John was back at her side. He took her hand and leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Don't cry, 'Lena. We don't know what has happened yet." He looked up at the doctors to see Cole point at something on the screen and Keller lean closer to look, then type something on the keyboard.

"How was the mission?" Helena asked, with a look on her face like she was trying to keep in control.

He frowned. "Just another trade negotiation. These folks have this, uh," he glanced up again, then back to her. "These folks have a nut that is about the size of a walnut but has the flavor of a berry. Like a mix between a raspberry and a blueberry, I guess."

She swallowed. "Sounds like an interesting addition to brownies."

He looked up at the doctors again. "If Ronon will let you change the recipe."

She glanced over as well. "As if he'd have a choice. I wouldn't tell him first. Like when we got peanut butter chips once. He liked it, but still prefers the original."

He looked down at her and she looked up at him.

"What's taking them so long?"

He found a small smile inside him. "I don't know."

Her eyes welled up again. "Oh, John…"

He captured her mouth with a kiss. For once in his life, he didn't care who saw this public display of affection. His magnificent woman was hurting and he was going to do everything in his limited power to ease her pain. His hand found its way to her cheek and he pulled back. "No matter what, 'Lena, I'm here."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Okay, Helena, Colonel Sheppard," Cole said. "We have the results."

Helena wasn't in the mood for a build-up. "Have we lost the baby?"

John's heart tightened in his chest as he straightened.

Cole smiled. "There is a healthy heartbeat and everything looks good as far as the baby goes. The baby appears to be fine."

Relief engulfed them both. John looked down at her and tears sprang to her eyes. The grip on her hand tightened, slightly.

"The bleeding is caused by a blood clot near the baby. It is does not pose a danger to the baby right now, but we're going to keep a close eye on you. We're going to clean you up a bit, then send you home. I want you to rest for two days. Complete bed rest," she narrowed her eyes at Helena. "And I mean _rest_, Helena. No extracurricular activities."

Helena wasn't about to rise to the joke. "Absolutely."

"In two days, I want you to come back for another scan. The bleeding should taper off fairly quickly, but if it increases again, call me."

John frowned. "What caused the clot?"

Cole shook her head. "It's hard to say. It could be a small fibroid that ruptured. It could be cyst that dislodged from the uterine wall. It could be small tear in the uterine wall. The scan wasn't clear in this regard. We'll be keeping a close eye on it."

Helena released a breath that she didn't know she was holding and looked up at John, who smiled down at her. She looked at Cole. "Can I see the baby?"

Cole smiled. She walked back to the scan display and swung the display arm around so that Helena could see it from where she was by craning her neck back. There, on the screen was a dark, fast moving area surrounded by light areas. Cole circled the fast moving part. "Here's the heart." She circled another area that was lighter. "This is the head." Moving quickly, she circled other areas, naming them arms and legs.

Relief washed over John to a point that he felt light-headed. He looked down at Helena, who sighed and tightened her grip on his hand.

"Okay, Dad, er, Colonel," Keller said. "We have to clean Helena up a bit, check the rate of blood flow."

John nodded, but didn't move.

Keller glanced at Cole, then back to him. "Uh, you'll need to step outside."

"Oh!" John looked down at her and she swallowed, nodding her okay. "I'll be right outside." He dipped down and kissed her again, then released her hand and walked out. Cole closed the door behind him and he was left in the hall, cooling his heels.

"Sheppard," Rodney called out as he arrived. He looked worried but unsure of how to express himself. "Ah, how is Helena?"

John nodded. "She's okay."

"And, ah," Rodney waved his hand in the area of his stomach.

"The baby's okay, too."

Rodney looked relieved. "Oh, that's really great. I was afraid – I mean I'm sure you were afraid, too – maybe more afraid…Of course, you were more afraid, but I – "

"Thanks, Rodney."

Rodney stopped his babbling and nodded, self-consciously. "You're welcome." He paused a moment. "Oh, and I, ah, already briefed Sam on the mission. She's sending another team to work out the details."

John nodded. "Thanks." He stood perpendicular to the door with his feet planted and his hands on his hips, lips pursed and eyebrows knitted together.

Rodney looked at him standing outside the door and then at the door. "So, what are you doing?"

"Waiting for them to let me back in."

"Ah."

Teyla arrived with Ronon, then. "John," she said. "How are they?"

He nodded. "The baby is fine, she's fine. It's a blood clot."

Teyla frowned. "So she is still bleeding?"

John nodded. "But the doctors say that it will stop on its own."

She looked relieved. "Her quarters have been cleaned up. We even replaced the mattress and linens."

He nodded, gratefully at her. "Thank you." He looked at Ronon, whose worried look echoed his own feelings.

After a long time, the doors opened and Cole wheeled Helena out in a wheel chair.

"I'm serious about keeping off your feet," she was saying. "The only time I want you up is to go to the bathroom. When you come back in two days, I want someone to wheel you here."

"I'll be doing that," John said. "And I'll make sure that she stays off her feet."

Ronon spoke then. "We all will."

Teyla smiled. "I'm sure that we'll have no shortage of people who will be eager to help."

Helena took John's hand and squeezed it.

He took the handles of the wheel chair and started to move the chair out of the infirmary.

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"John," Helena said, impatiently. "Will you please stop fussing and sit?"

He looked over at her, sitting up in bed. "I just want to make sure you can get to everything you need tomorrow while I'm out."

She held out her hand. "Come here."

He finished moving the chest of drawers to within arm's reach of her bed. Then he moved around the room and sat down on the bed next to her. "Are you comfortable?"

She shook her head. "Not yet."

He frowned and went for her pillows, but she stopped him.

"Come here." She said, firmly.

He moved up to sit next to her in the bed.

She leaned over and put her head on his chest, curling up to him. "Now, I'm comfortable."

He wrapped his arm around her.

"You were terrific today," she said. "Thank you."

He kissed her forehead. "I was terrified, 'Lena. When Sam told me that you were taken to the infirmary, I imagined the worst."

She nodded. "I've never been so afraid in my life," she said, softly.

John tightened his hold on her. After a few minutes, he felt her shake. When he looked down, she was crying. It made his heart ache. He began to rock her, silently, allowing her the release she needed. He knew that they weren't out of the woods. Helena's pregnancy was definitely in the high-risk category now, but he vowed to do everything he could to keep her safe.

After a while, she fell asleep. He extricated himself and left her curled up in her bed.

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John walked into his own quarters and went straight for the beer. No sooner had he opened it, than his door rang.

He raked his hand through his hair and opened the door to Ronon. "Want a beer?"

Ronon shook his head. "Want to talk?"

John shook his head. "No."

"Fair enough." Ronon pushed his hair back over his shoulder and sat on John's dresser.

John stood looking at him. Finally, he sat on his bed and rubbed his head. "I thought I'd lost her today," he said finally.

Ronon nodded.

"Losing the baby would have been bad enough, but if I had lost her…" He looked at the beer in his hand and put it down on the table next to his bed.

Ronon didn't say a word.

He took a deep breath and let it out shakily.

Ronon stood and went for his own beer.

John looked up. "I thought you didn't want one."

Ronon looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Changed my mind."

When he sat down again, he said. "I'm surprised you're not at her place."

John nodded. "I needed to decompress. She's asleep. I'll go back and spend the night there, just in case she wakes up."

Ronon took a deep draft from the beer. When he swallowed, he sat forward to look at John, intense. "I think you two need a place together."

John straightened. "What?"

Ronon shrugged. "Why not? There are bigger quarters in the city. You can take care of her better if you're living with her. And aren't you guys always in here or in her place? Do you ever spend the night apart?"

John frowned. "Not often."

Ronon shrugged again. "Just a suggestion."

John started thinking. "I'll have to bring it up to her."

Ronon took another drink. "Won't hurt."

John nodded. He stood, then. "I'd better get back."

Ronon stood. "Thanks for the beer."

John nodded. "Thanks for understanding about…you know…not wanting to talk."

Ronon smiled just a small smile and nodded. "Anytime."


	13. Together Again

"I think I'm going insane."

Teyla looked up from where she was stretching to where Helena was reclining on the bench in the gym. She smiled. "Why do you say that, my friend?"

Helena's hand went to her belly, which was beginning to noticeably show the signs of her condition. "It's been four weeks. The bleeding has stopped. The clot has, in fact, virtually disappeared and I'm still not getting any!" She groaned and lay back flat on the bench.

Teyla's smile turned sympathetic. "I'm sure it is because John is being cautious."

"Yes, of course, it is," Helena sighed. "But we're still too new in this aspect of our relationship to be celibate this long. Every time he touches me I want to crawl out of my skin and attack him. But, then, it's probably much easier for him to resist me now that I'm porking up."

Teyla frowned. "You are not fat, Helena. You are carrying a life inside you. If John does not find you even more attractive, then I will speak to him." She leaned over and touched her _bantos _sticks meaningfully.

Helena chuckled. "Thanks, my friend." She sighed. "It doesn't help that none of my clothes fit anymore, either. It's hard to even _feel_ attractive, let alone _look_ attractive, when all you have to wear are sweatpants and his t-shirts."

Teyla sat and curled her legs under her, tilting her head. "I may have a way to help you with that. Athosian women are often envied for the beauty of their clothing, especially while they are pregnant. I'm sure I can find something for you."

Helena picked up her head and looked at Teyla. "Really?" She sat up. "That would be great!"

Teyla stood. "I'll come by this afternoon with some things for you to choose from."

Helena frowned. "You're going to New Athos this morning?"

Teyla's smile widened. "No. These are items I procured after learning of your pregnancy. I was unsure of the right time to offer them."

Helena jumped off the bench and hugged Teyla fiercely. "Thank you!"

"Every man's fantasy."

They both turned when they heard a deep voice to find Ronon leaning against the door frame with a smile on his face.

"What's that?" Helena tilted her head.

Ronon shrugged. "Two beautiful, sweaty women..," he raised his eyebrows and a wicked glint entered his green eyes.

Teyla rolled her eyes and retrieved her _bantos_ sticks. "I hope you are prepared to pay for that suggestion."

Helena smiled sympathetically in Ronon's direction. "Good luck," she patted his arm as she walked past.

Ronon shrugged, chuckling. "Thanks."

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John entered the gym to find Ronon and Teyla sparring, full tilt. Teyla was smiling each time she landed a blow and Ronon was smiling back, delighting in the fight.

"Hey, guys."

"Hey, Sheppard," Ronon said, tossing his hair out of his face. "I'll be finished here in a moment."

Teyla grinned. "I'd agree that he is about to be finished."

John's eyebrows rose. "So!" he leaned against the wall. "What's going on?"

"Ronon made an unseemly comment and he is apologizing." Teyla attacked.

"Not apologizing," Ronon grunted as he defended himself. "Just paying for it."

Teyla then landed a blow across Ronon's back, making the big man wince.

"Okay, okay," Ronon threw down the sticks. "I still have to work out with Sheppard."

John grinned. "Oh, don't let me interrupt."

Teyla dropped her sticks and she and Ronon touched foreheads in the Athosian tradition. Then she grabbed her bag and her towel. Heading for the door, she smiled at John. "He's all yours."

John sighed. "Thanks for warming him up for me."

He and Ronon picked up the sticks and bowed to each other, then began circling.

"Have you spoken to Helena?" Ronon asked.

"I speak to her every day."

Ronon struck and John defended.

"You know what I mean. You found that place out by the West Pier, have you talked to her about it?"

John feinted; Ronon didn't flinch.

"No. I just don't know if she'd be interested."

Ronon delivered three quick blows; John avoided the first two but felt the sting of the third one against the back of his thigh.

"She's going through so much right now," John explained. "Worrying about the baby and all, I don't want to put more stress on her."

Ronon attacked again. Again, John was able to ward off all the blows except the last one, which he felt against his back.

Through gritted teeth, John ground. "You know, I wanted to do this to relieve some frustration, not to get a lecture."

Ronon's eyebrows rose as his eyes danced and a feline grin touched his lips. "I haven't said a word."

John rubbed his back. "And I heard them loud and clear."

Ronon's grin widened. "That's not me, John. It's your guilt."

He parried and John defended. Several more blows were exchanged, including one that glanced off the back of John's head.

Shaking his head to clear it, John sighed. "I don't think I'm thinking straight anymore. Between worrying about her and the baby, my usual responsibilities, whether or not I'm doing right by her, and then there's the whole…_frustration_ thing, it's amazing I'm not insane."

Ronon frowned. "You still haven't? Didn't you check with Dr. Cole?"

They continued to circle each other.

John looked miserable. "Yes, but there just hasn't been a right time. She's been sleeping a _lot_."

Ronon lunged. "Isn't that what Cole said would happen in the first part?"

John ducked. "Yes. And that's fine. I just hope we can get it together before I go completely crazy."

Ronon grinned and threw down the _bantos _sticks, then. "This is the wrong kind of work out for what ails you. Let's go for a run. That always helps."

John groaned, inwardly. "Fine. Let's run."

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John pulled his earpiece out of his ear as he approached Helena's quarters after the end of dinner hours that night. He hoped she was there. They'd had enough arguments about her overworking herself and he didn't want another one right now.

Her door opened and he stepped in. He didn't see her and sighed. As he turned to head back out, he heard something from the bathroom.

"'Lena?"

"I'm here," she called. "Are you hungry?"

He sat on her bed and nodded. "Sure. How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic."

He smiled until he saw her come out of the bathroom. Then his mouth dropped open. "Wow."

She blushed, but looked incredibly pleased with his reaction. She was dressed in a brown, leather-looking skirt that was slit on one leg, and a teal and gold, high-waisted, flowing shirt that had a deep V-neck and small, short sleeves – leaving most of her arms bare and emphasizing her feminine curves nicely, the color causing her eyes to stand out against dark eyelashes. Her feet were encased in soft moccasins. Her hair was loose, a long and curling mass of copper waves that cascaded down her back.

He stood. "Wow." He repeated.

She smiled again. "So, I take it that you like it?"

His eyebrows rose and he swallowed. "Oh, yeah! But I gotta tell you that it only makes me want to tell you take it off." He tried to look apologetic, but failed.

She smiled, widely, and raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

He tore his eyes away from her. "So, did you bring dinner in?"

She frowned. "Picnic. I figured we could have a 'vacation'." She sounded hopeful.

He saw the basket of food and a thought popped into his mind. "This is actually perfect." He picked up the basket, went to her and took her hand. "Come on."

She frowned. "What?"

He pulled her out the door. "I want to show you something." He led her out to the nearest transporter.

She stepped in and saw that he hit the screen the area of the West Pier. "Where are we going, John?"

He shook his head as they stepped out of the transporter on the other side. Holding her hand, he looked over at her, thinking how beautiful she looked, even with the frown on her face. "We're almost there."

Helena tried to smile at him, but she had this sinking feeling that the evening she had planned of seducing this man was being thwarted.

They arrived at a door and John waved his hand in front of the controls. The door opened and he led her in. The room was about the same size as most living quarters but empty. She looked around and then looked at him curious.

"Ah," he smiled. "You're wondering why I brought you over here to an empty room. Notice the doors?"

She nodded. "Bathroom and?"

He shook his head and walked over to the first door. He opened it to reveal another room, the same size as the first, not a bathroom, but a bedroom, complete with a bed. He pulled her inside the room and showed her the view out the window. It reminded her of the view from the West Pier. She turned to look at him, but before she could say anything, he smiled.

"There's more." He led her across the room and into a bathroom. It had the usual shower, but also a bathtub and two sinks with another door.

"Wow, a bathtub!"

He chuckled. "But wait, there's more!" he said in his best telemarketing voice.

He led her across the room through the other door to another bedroom. The view from this one looked out at the West Pier. Then he led her out of that room back to the main room. Then he led her to the windows, which turned out to be the entrance of to a balcony.

She smiled. "You found a two bedroom apartment?"

John looked very satisfied. "Yep. What do you think?"

Helena looked out to the ocean. "It's fantastic. Who's getting it?"

He looked out to the ocean then. "Well, about that."

She turned to look at him. "Yes?"

"When was the last time I spent any time alone at my place?"

She frowned. "Uh…Come to think of it, I have no idea. You're always at my place, or I'm at yours. I guess while I'm working?"

He pushed an errant strand of hair from her face. "Most the time that you're working, I'm working too."

She tilted her head. "What's your point, John?"

He leaned over and kissed her, gently.

As much as she loved kissing and being kissed by him, this one only served as a reminder that her evening had been derailed.

"I figured that you'll want a separate room for the baby, eventually."

She nodded. "Very thoughtful."

He sighed. "I'm messing this up."

She frowned, straightening. "Messing what up?" she asked, guardedly.

"I want you to move in with me. In here. You, me and the baby."

Her jaw dropped and her eyes became saucers. "You want…" She shook her head as if to clear it. "What?"

He pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows. "I want you and the baby to live here with me."

"You want to move in together."

He was unsure how to take her astonishment. "Yes, Helena. I want to move in together," he said, tersely.

At his tone, she smiled. "You're serious."

John was starting to feel frustration. "Yes. Crap, 'Lena, will you just answer the damn question?"

She looked out to the ocean and thought for a moment. She was incredibly pleased that he asked, but not sure if this was the right step. It was true, though, that he was almost always at her place and when he wasn't, she was at his. She was still worried about how she would handle a newborn and work; having him living with her would help a lot. Then there was the emotional aspect, she sighed.

"'Lena?"

She looked over at him and smiled. "I think it's a great idea."

He smiled. "Really?" He put his hands on his hips and looked out at the ocean with a smile. Then he looked at her again. "Really?"

She laughed. "Yes, John."

He took her face in his hands and kissed her, suddenly, deeply.

She put took a handful of his shirt and moved very close to him, kissing him back, hungrily.

He groaned and pulled away from her, then wrapped his arms around her. "I don't know if I can keep away from you for much longer," he said, lowly, into her ear.

She smiled. "Thank God!"

He pulled back and looked at her. "What?"

"John," she breathed. "I've cleared it with Dr. Cole. There's no reason why we can't…well, you know."

He tilted her head up and looked at her with intensity that made her feel like he could see into her soul. "Are you sure?"

She pulled back and threw her hands up. "I'm going crazy, John! Every time you touch me, every time you take my hand or put your hands on my hips. Every time I hug you; every time we kiss…I think I'm losing my mind!"

He took a step to her. "Thank God I'm not the only one." He gathered her into his arms and began to ravish her mouth.

She groaned against his mouth and pressed against him, pulling on his shirt, desperately trying to untuck it from his pants. When she got it up, she put her hands on his skin, sending bolts of electricity through him.

He growled softly and released her mouth to lean down and attack her throat. He pushed her shirt down off her shoulder and moved her hair to press kisses from her neck to her collarbone. His hands found the ties that held her shirt together in the back and, kissing her lips again, began to untie the stays.

In the meantime, her hands drew designs on his chest and around to his back. While he was kissing her neck, she was peppering kisses on his shoulder. Her shirt came loose and he drew back then. He bent and scooped her up. The door from the balcony opened for them to return to the main room and he continued through it to the bedroom with the bed inside. He gently placed her down and, slipped the soft shirt from her shoulders.

"Is it possible for these to be bigger already?" He knelt down next to her on the bed.

She laughed. "Yes."

"Not that I'm complaining," he smiled at her. "And not that what you had wasn't enough, but, wow."

She laughed again and pulled him to her.

He stopped her then. "Wait," He took a deep breath. He looked her over, the swell of her stomach, the fullness of her breasts, the flush of her skin in the light of two moons out the window. He felt a primal reaction in his body, but took another deep breath. He looked down on her. "I have to tell you," he shook his head. "that we're going to have to do this my way, or it'll be really quick."

She frowned. "What?"

He looked the length of her. "If we go rushing into this, it'll be over real quick and I don't want that."

She smiled. "So...what are you saying?"

He put his hand on her head. "You give up control. Trust me, completely, and let me worship you."

She felt her heart swell, filling her throat with emotion, and she nodded.

He gently removed the remainder of her clothing, then removed his own. Then he climbed into bed with her and began touching and tasting, slowly and deliberately. Her groans and sighs filled the darkness and touched him to his core. Finally, she cried out for him and he covered her mouth with a kiss. Her body glistened with sweat when he pulled back and looked at the flush in her face. He paused then, for a moment.

She moved then to her side and pushed him back to his back and began her own exploration of his body, tasting and touching until he thought he would lose his mind. He resumed his exploration of her core and delighted in her ultimate reaction, stilling her hands in the process.

When they finally joined together, he looked up at her and touched the roundness of her stomach, marveling at the female form, so beautiful in the process of motherhood. He sat up and, placing his hands on her face, kissed her deeply. He groaned against her mouth as she moved and buried his hands in her hair as she wrapped her arms around his and buried her face into his neck. When release came for her, it came for him also. Finally, he lay back on the bed, moving slightly so that she would lie next to him, their legs tangled and his hand tangled in her hair.

He pulled her as close as he could and kissed her ear. "How are you?"

"Fantastic," she kissed his arm. "You?"

"I'm a little miffed that my prediction came true."

She turned and looked at him, frowning. "What?"

"Told you it would be quick."

She threw her head back and laughed. "Listen, buddy, I am _not_ complaining at all!"

He lifted himself up on one arm and looked down at her. "Just give me a little time, round two will knock your socks off."

She lifted a foot and said in a Betty Boop voice. "But I'm not wearing socks!"

He growled and dug his fingers into her ribs, causing her to jump up out of the bed. She pointed a finger at him. "No tickling!"

He stood and she spotted the basket of food.

"I'm starving," she said, quickly. "Let's eat."

He smiled. "Sure, in a minute." He took the basket out of her hand and placed it back on the floor.

She continued to back up until her back was against the wall. "Damn, missed the door," she laughed.

He pressed against her and took her face in his hands, kissing her slowly and thoroughly, releasing her only when she groaned against his mouth and clung to him desperately. Then he smiled at her.

"Let's eat!" he smiled, brightly.

Her groan of frustration was enough to make him laugh.

"You are _so lucky_ we're in an empty room and I don't have anything to throw at you!"

He winked at her and offered his hand. She joined him on the bed and they began to unpack the food from the picnic.


	14. Stay

_A/N:Potty mouth warning!: Helena's mouth is at it again._

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Samantha Carter walked into the open door of the quarters John and Helena were preparing to share. It was moving day and the sounds of laughter from within made what she was about to do all the more difficult.

"Hey!" Helena jumped up from the arm of the chair she was sitting on. "Our first house guest!" She looked at John, sitting in the same chair. "How fitting is that? Our fearless leader is our first house guest."

Rodney lowered the beer from his lips. "What are we?" he asked, referring to himself, Teyla and Ronon, who were there as well.

Helena waved him off. "You're the moving crew. That doesn't count."

Rodney rolled his eyes and John smiled a shrug.

Sam smiled grimly. "I wish it was a social call."

John stood, then and moved to stand with Helena. "What is it, Colonel?"

She took a deep breath and looked at Helena. "The IOA wants you to report back to the SGC for an interview."

Helena frowned.

"Why?" John asked.

"It seems that they have some questions regarding your effectiveness and contributions to the mission once your child is born."

"Why would it be any different than it has been?" John demanded.

Sam shook her head. "I don't know, John. They seem to think it might."

Helena was stiff and determination was written all over her face as she stepped away from John. "I won't go," she said, flatly. "I'm a member of the US Army. I don't have go running when they crook their fingers."

Sam looked at John, apologetically, before facing Helena. "That's just it, Helena. You do. We all do."

"They're an Oversight Committee, _not_ a part of my chain of command. My appointment to this expedition comes directly from the President. They can talk to _him_ about my fitness."

Sam shook her head. "He's giving the IOA his full support."

John stepped forward and Sam turned to face him, effectively, putting Helena behind her. "Why now? She's been pregnant for four months, now. Why not recall her earlier?"

Sam shrugged, miserably. "I don't know. I tried to assure them that there would be no change and that Helena is too important a part of the expedition, but they still want the interview." She sighed and turned back to where Helena had been. "You're to report – "

But Helena wasn't in the room anymore.

"Tomorrow," Sam completed, miserably.

John looked at the door, then at Sam, who nodded. He ran out of the quarters after the mother of his child.

Sam turned to face the others, who were all standing looking at her. She sighed.

"She moves fast for a little pregnant woman," Rodney remarked.

"Rodney!" Teyla and Sam said in unison.

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"Kat!"

Dr. Cole turned from her desk to see Helena arriving, breathless. "Helena! What's wrong? Is it the baby?"

Helena shook her head, pulling in air, trying to catch her breath. "I need a favor. It's urgent."

Kat stood and walked over to Helena, taking her arm, to lead her to a chair. "What is it?"

"I need you to sign a profile that prohibits me from gate travel." She refused the chair. "I need you to say that, due to my status as high-risk, there's no way of knowing how gate travel will affect me or my child."

"Helena!" John ran into the room. "What are you doing?"

"Can you do it?" she demanded of Kat.

Kat frowned. "I don't understand. We all agreed that there wouldn't be any reason for you to go off-world."

"Things have changed. Can you do it?"

"Helena," John reasoned. "You can't ask Dr. Cole to keep you against IOA orders," John frowned.

Helena seemed not to hear him and continued to look at her physician.

Cole looked from her to John and back, shocked. "The IOA is recalling you?"

"Not if you sign that profile."

John frowned. "Helena," he said, sharply. "You can't _request_ a profile."

Helena ignored him. "Kat?"

"_Chief_, stand down!" John ordered.

Cole frowned as Helena shot him an angry glare. "Truthfully, Colonel, I wouldn't recommend gate travel." She said, finally. "I don't know if there's precedence for a pregnant woman going through the gate," she returned to her desk and opened a window on her computer. "I'd have to check, but given the complications you've already experienced and the high-risk nature of your pregnancy thus far, I'd hesitate to allow it."

Helena nodded. "Then sign the order."

Cole sighed. "I'd have to research the issue, Helena, before I can issue a directive that contradicts an order from the IOA."

Helena moved to put her hands on Cole's desk. "I don't have much time, Kat. I don't know when they want me – "

"Tomorrow," John furnished, flatly.

Helena spun to look at him. The anger she was feeling toward him lessened when she saw the misery in his face. It just served to make her angrier at the situation. "Tomorrow?!"

John nodded, miserably. "Now that Midway is finished, you could go tomorrow and be on Earth twenty-four hours later."

Helena looked down, her mind racing. "There's got to be something…"

Cole spoke then. "Listen, you're still on a light duty profile. I can easily add gate travel 'pending investigation of precedence' on to it. It may not keep you from going, but it will delay it until we can find out for certain."

Helena nodded. "Thanks, Kat."

Cole nodded. "No problem. I'll let Colonel Carter know and do the research. Now go rest. Getting stressed out and worked up isn't good for you or the baby."

Helena nodded and walked out, with John on her heels.

"Helena."

She turned on him. "What the _hell_ was that?!" she demanded. "Pulling rank, even! Do you _want_ me to go? Because you know that once I'm there, they'll never allow me to come back."

John frowned at this barrage. "No, I don't want you to go! But I don't want you to get a court martial either for disobeying a direct order or for malingering."

Helena narrowed her eyes. "The IOA can kiss my ass, John Sheppard. The US Army and the President can get in line too. My life is _here_, John, and I won't leave it."

"But if you get yourself court martialled, you'll have to leave anyway."

She shook her head. "I'd like to see them come and get me."

"You'd put Sam in the position of having to arrest you?"

Helena straightened to her full five and a half feet. "If it means I can stay, then lock me up, now."

John ran his hand through his hair. "Damnit, 'Lena – "

"Don't you _even_ start with me, Mister! I am _not_ going back to Earth to have this child and be a single mother by myself, never knowing if you're alive or dead. I will go AWOL first."

"Stop!" he ground. "This isn't a joke, Helena. You don't think that the rules apply to you because you're here? Or is it because you've spent so much time outside of the standard command structure?" His voice rose. "The rules apply to you too!"

She stepped closer to him, her face flushed and her eyes narrowed. "I have _never_ believed the rules don't apply to me. I have always worked within the rules. _I_ was the one who found the reg that allowed us to be together. I have spent twenty-two years playing by the rules and working my damned ass off to get to where I am now." Her eyes flashed with anger. "I'll be damned to hell if I am going to let some fucking bureaucrats tell me that I can't contribute to this mission because I am a mother. And I'm not going to lie down and let them, or anyone, take my family away."

"Oh, come on, Helena! Nobody's trying to take your family away."

She swallowed hard as another set of emotions began to bubble up. "If they make me go, John, and they don't let me come back, they will have taken my family away. I don't have _anyone_ back there. That's why I signed up for this. My family is _here_ and if you don't know that by now, _Colonel_, you can join the IOA and go to hell."

She turned on her heel and ran away, leaving John stunned at the vehemence of her words.

He put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath. "Damn it!" he said, suddenly, and suppressed the urge to hit the wall. He turned and headed to the control room.

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John walked into Sam's office and sat down in one of her chairs with a sigh.

"I just got an interesting email from Dr. Cole."

"Really?"

"Apparently, Helena is prohibited from gate travel until after her child is born."

John looked at Sam and tried to gauge her reaction to this news, but Sam was carefully neutral.

"And?"

Sam sighed. "I am planning to send the information with to the IOA with the next update. I have no idea what their reaction will be. _Hopefully_, they won't accuse Helena of malingering and pursue UCMJ action against her. And Dr. Cole."

John frowned. "Helena _did_ ask Dr. Cole to write the profile, but Dr. Cole, to her credit, told her she would have to do research on precedence. She said that the only reason she hadn't written such a profile before was that we had all agreed that Helena wouldn't be traveling **through the gate."**

Sam nodded. "And that's probably the only reason I'm not obligated to arrest Helena now." Sam sighed. "John, I'm not happy about this at all. I will do anything I can to keep her from being recalled, but we have to understand that it may still happen. Maybe not now, but after the child is born."

John put his head in hands and rubbed his hair, making it look more mussed than usual. "If she's recalled, Sam," he sighed, looking up. "I will have to request reassignment. You know that, right?"

Sam's dimple made an appearance as she smiled. "I kind of figured you would say something along those lines. And that might help her case, if the IOA continues to pursue it."

John frowned. "Really?"

"Of course! John, the IOA knows how valuable you are here. They are not going to want to lose you."

John leaned back in the chair. "Great. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that. 'Lena thinks that if she gets recalled, she and the baby will be alone, but…"

Sam nodded. "If I can do anything to help the situation, I will."

John smiled, grimly. "Thanks."

Sam smiled. "Go find her, John. There's nothing pressing."

John stood and sighed. "I'll bet real money that she's not on comms."

Sam laughed. "I wouldn't take that bet for anything in this galaxy or the next."

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Helena was sitting on the steps of the West Pier when John found her.

"Should have come here first," he remarked.

"Go away."

He smiled, slightly, at her words. He'd heard them before and hadn't listened. He wasn't going to start now. Instead, he walked over and sat down next to her.

"You don't listen very well," she growled.

He nodded. "You've told me that before."

She harrumphed and scooted away from him.

He grinned and scooted closer.

"Damn it, John! I'm mad at you."

"No, you're not."

"I am."

"No."

She growled. "Don't tell me that I'm not mad at you, buster. I know fully well how I feel right now. I'm pissed at the situation and at you."

John paused. "'Lena," he reasoned. "Why are you mad at me?"

"Because you called me Chief."

He frowned at what he saw as illogical reasoning. "What?"

"I'm there fighting for us and our child and you come in, calling me _Chief_ and worrying about me getting court martialled."

He understood that. "Because I don't want you to do something that will get you thrown in jail."

She sighed. "It's nothing compared to being sent away." Her voice cracked. "I would be willing to spend the rest of my life in that cell down there if it meant I could stay with you."

John's heart swelled into his throat. He stood and moved to her, taking her hands and pulling her up into his arms. "Cole came through with the profile. Sam will be sending it with the next message."

She put her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. After a time, she sniffed. "I guess I've gotten a stay of execution."

Holding her, he knew that it was a stay. He could hope that whatever put the bee in the IOA's bonnet would leave and they would forget all about them, but he knew those chances were slim. "Come home, 'Lena. This is supposed to be our first night together."

She giggled and pulled back, touching her rounding stomach. "I think our first night together was a while ago."

He smiled. "You know what I mean."

She poked his chest, good-naturedly. "Yes, I know." She reached up and invited him to kiss her, which he did. When they parted, she said. "I'm still mad at you."

He smiled. "What if I apologize?"

"Then I will apologize for cursing at you."

"Then I would chalk it up to hormones."

She frowned. "Don't do that because if it happens again and I'm not pregnant, there won't be an excuse."

"Ah." He looked over her head. "Then, in that case, I would tell you that it was all my fault."

She smiled. "That's always a good idea."

"That's if we were apologizing."

"Which we're not."

"No."

"So you'll just have to make it up to me."

"I will?"

"Of course. That's what men do when they're wrong."

He grinned and kissed her again. "Let's go home."


	15. Pay the Piper

The wormhole opened as Sam walked down the steps from the control room to the Stargate. She was not looking forward to their visitor.

Richard Woolsey emerged and smiled, grimly, at the military commander and lead administrator of the Atlantis Expedition. "Colonel."

"Mr. Woolsey. How was Midway?"

Woolsey nodded. "As well as can be expected."

Sam nodded. Without further preamble, she said. "You should know that you won't be well received for what you're trying to do here."

Woolsey frowned. "What am I trying to do, Colonel?"

"Justify recalling Chief Helena Leiter."

"I do not have an agenda, Colonel Carter." He sighed. "It seems to be my lot in life. I'm always sent by politicians to do what they find distasteful; that said, I must tell you that I _do_ take my job seriously. I am simply here to find out the truth."

Sam shook her head. "I've sent the truth in my reports. The IOA has chosen to send you to prove that wrong."

Woolsey sighed. "Not true. The IOA wants to make sure that there is no bias in your reporting. We all know you have a long-standing friendship with Chief Leiter and that she is well liked here. We also know that she is in a relationship with your second-in-command – something you should have put a stop to before it progressed this far."

Sam crossed her arms. "There was no reason for me to put a stop to it. Their relationship was at no way in odds with the completion of this mission."

"We'll see."

Sam's eyebrows rose. "And you've just proven my point in regards to truth."

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Helena saw Woolsey enter the cafeteria. She watched as Lieutenant LeVox and Staff Sergeant Cooper walked away from the serving line when he approached, effectively giving him the cold shoulder. She smiled at how loyal her people were. With a deep breath, she stood and walked to the serving line.

"Coop," she called. "Man the line."

Cooper frowned, but stepped up to the serving line and served Woolsey as ordered.

Woolsey turned to thank this woman and then saw that she was pregnant. "Chief Leiter, I presume?"

She smiled at him. "Yes, Mr. Woolsey. I am the one and only. How was your trip?"

Woolsey nodded. "Fine. But wouldn't you rather find out what I am doing here?"

Helena smiled openly at him. "Oh, I know why you're here." She motioned him to a table. "But I have the home field advantage. I'm confident you'll do the right thing, just as you did by General Hammond and the SGC a few years ago."

He frowned. "How do you know anything about that?" he whispered.

Helena laughed. "I've been working in cafeterias for more than half my life now, Mr. Woolsey. If there is anything I have learned it's that all things are discussed over dinner."

He nodded. "So I can expect that you and your people will be privy to everything that happens even before I file my reports?"

She nodded. "Let me apologize, in advance, for any problems you might be given because of this. I know you're just doing your job."

Woolsey sat and smiled up to her. "I appreciate that Chief. I will be wanting to interview you before long."

She nodded. "Whenever you're ready; but for now, I have work to do."

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"John?"

"I'm going with you."

Helena grinned. "I'm perfectly capable of facing the big bad Woolsey," she said. "You don't have to be there."

John pursed his lips. "I'm not worried about you as much as I'm worried for Woolsey."

Helena laughed out loud, knowing that this was his way of deflecting. "I promise not to climb over the table for his neck." She rubbed her now obvious belly. "Besides, by the time I got onto the table, he'd be halfway to the gate," she chuckled.

He nodded, without humor.

"Really, John," she sobered. "You don't need to be there."

He looked at her with such intensity that she immediately knew there was no arguing the matter with him.

She sighed and nodded. She paused to take his hand for just a moment and squeeze it. She smiled. "Thank you, John."

Without another word, they walked together to the conference room. The door opened to reveal a conference table with Woolsey on one side, a notebook and a tape recorder. There was another chair on the opposite side of the table for the interviewee and a couple of other chairs moved away from the table against the wall. Helena smiled at the set up, walked over to one of the chairs on the wall and dragged it to sit _next_ to Woolsey, rather than to sit opposite of him. John took the opposite seat, instead.

"Uh, Chief, you're supposed to sit there," Woolsey indicated to the chair that John sat comfortably in. "And why are you here, Colonel Sheppard?"

Helena sat down next to Woolsey's chair, smiling. "He's here to make sure I behave myself, and I figure we can have a conversation instead of an interview. 'Interview' makes me feel like I'm applying for a job. I don't feel very comfortable with those, so let's just talk."

Woolsey looked like he was thrown out of his comfort zone and John smiled a very small smile at this very calculated move on the part of his paramour. He knew from her absolute look of comfort and confidence that she had planned this from the minute they learned that IOA wasn't going to accept her inability to travel through the gate as the end of their inquiry.

Woolsey took a breath and sat down, moving the tape recorder to face her instead of John. "Very well, then." He flipped the notebook open. "Now – "

"I didn't get the chance to ask you," Helena interrupted. "Did you like your lunch? Was everything done to your satisfaction?"

Woolsey frowned. "Uh…yes."

"Which dessert did you have?"

He glanced at John, whose eyebrows were up and his lips pursed, as if he was trying to figure out what she was doing. He looked at her and saw nothing but curiosity. Part of him couldn't help think there was something shady going on here, but he decided to play along until he was able to get to his questions.

"Apple crumb cake," he said.

"Ah, did you put some ice cream on it?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Oh, well, for dinner, if you liked it…did you like it?"

"It was very good."

"For dinner, if you want, you should ask for it to be warmed up and put some vanilla ice cream over it. The cream melts into the cake and it is absolutely _fabulous_."

"I…I'll try to remember that."

"'Course, tonight's dessert will be something I don't make often. Lemon Meringue Pie. I don't make it often because of Dr. McKay's food allergy. Just seeing it can put him off his feed – which is, believe me, extremely difficult to do. Isn't it John?" Without waiting for him to answer, she continued. "But there are over two hundred other people in this city now and there are times when I get a special request. Such is the case for the pie tonight. I've already warned Rodney and set aside some of the cake and ice cream from lunch for him."

"You make all the desserts?"

She shook her head. "No. I do love making desserts, but I'm not the only one. So, I have to share from time to time. After all, I don't expect that all my people are going to want to stay here forever, and I want them to be well-rounded, experienced cooks. I'm actually teaching most of them Master Chef techniques. Hell, I'd say Staff Sergeant Cooper would be ready to take the tests right now. She doesn't feel ready, but she is. She could take the test and become a certified Master Chef and even get a Warrant appointment, if she wanted to."

Woolsey nodded. "You feel she's that ready?"

"Oh, absolutely. Now, it isn't easy to learn gourmet cooking here because you don't have things like _foie gras_ or caviar or truffles, but we make gourmet out of what the military says we need." She smiled. "So we work with ground chuck and dried potatoes flakes."

He looked sympathetic.

"We do get things, though, that you can't get on Earth from our off-world allies. There is a vegetable here that is delicious with bacon and butter called a _tava bean_ and the Athosians have a hearty ale that pairs fantastically with _Boeuf Berrichon_. Ronon has been brave enough to visit the mainland and brought back a five foot diameter, ten foot long snake – kind of looked like a small anaconda. Those steaks were something else!"

"Tasted like chicken?"

Helena frowned. "No." She glanced at John, whose face was neutral. "No, more like lamb, but not really. We made gyros with it after we figured out the taste. Made the Greek segment of our population extremely happy."

Woolsey checked his watch.

Helena looked at hers. "Wow, time flies. I'm going to have to get going in a few. The Apollo will be leaving Earth in a couple days and I have to get the requisition orders in to Colonel Carter so that we can get our supplies. It's the most monotonous part of my job, but it's necessary. If I don't do it, then there are no ingredients with which to cook – or cleaning products with which to clean up after."

"That's how Chief Leiter and I met actually," John said. "I was looking for food and she was cleaning the cafeteria. I'll bet she has the cleanest kitchen in two galaxies."

Helena smiled. "Well, I take a lot of pride in the cleanliness of my kitchen and cafeteria, but the best part of my job is the people. Sam – ah, Colonel Carter has called me the 'closest thing to a morale officer' Atlantis has, which makes me happy. I love all of these people. They are my family. I have about a hundred children and ninety brothers and sisters and a few parents in this city." She glanced over at John and smiled. "Though there are some that are always telling me I'm not old enough to be a mother to a thirty-five year old man, but it doesn't stop me from 'mother henning'. I enjoy taking care of these people, Mr. Woolsey. It is what makes my life worth living."

She paused then and took a deep breath. She leaned forward and put her hand on Woolsey's. This surprised him and he was drawn into her big blue eyes as she said. "None of this will change when I have this child, Mr. Woolsey. I will be as effective in my job as ever, if not more so." She straightened, keeping her hand on his. "But I have to tell you, Mr. Woolsey, that I am prepared to give it up."

Woolsey looked surprised and John sat up straighter, shocked.

Before either man could say another word, she looked at her watch again and stood. "I am prepared to resign from the Army and seek asylum from the leader of the Athosian people in order to stay here. I _will not_ be leaving Atlantis. That part of your job has been done for you. Your decision is: do I stay on as Chief of Food Services? Or do I stay as a civilian who happens to work in the kitchen?" She looked down at her watch again. "I have to go. It was wonderful talking to you, Mr. Woolsey. Come and see me at dinner, if you're interested in that dessert."

Then she was gone.

Woolsey looked down at his pad of paper and noticed that he hadn't taken any notes or asked any of the questions he'd intended to ask. He looked over at John, who looked like something was bothering him. "Does she always take over a conversation like that?"

John smiled. "I never noticed." He stood. "Did you want to interview me now or later?"

Woolsey shook his head. "I don't know…"

John looked at the tape player. "Is that still running?"

Woolsey nodded.

John nodded. Putting his hands on his hips and narrowing his eyes, he said. "Then let me tell you what I have to say. When Carter says that she's a morale officer, that's not a joke. There are many, many times when things have gone wrong and she's been a sounding board, ready with a smile, or a piece of cake saved just for you. When you're taking the weight of everything on yourself, she's the voice of reason that tells you that you don't have the ability to control the universe. She can get McKay to eat something other than coffee and Powerbars during a crisis. She makes sure the people in the infirmary eat – not just the patients, but the doctors and the researchers. I've never seen her keep a list, but on any given day she can tell you who hasn't eaten a specific meal –and that's with her being on light duty. When she's not, she's actually delivering the meals. She waits up until all the teams have returned to make sure they can have a hot meal when they come back. She makes every single person feel like he, or she, is the most important one here."

He took a breath and put his hand to his chest. "Also, you need to know: if she goes, so do I."

Woolsey frowned. "Excuse me?"

"She is the mother of my child and I will not leave her to raise our child by herself. So if the IOA finds _me_ to be an asset to this mission, let them consider _that_ while they're deciding."

John nodded. "I have to go now. If you need any clarification on anything you hear while you're conducting these interviews, contact me."

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At the end of the week, Woolsey called a conference to include Helena, John, Sam, Teyla, Rodney, and Keller. They all arrived on time and took seats in the main conference room around the large U-shaped table there.

Woolsey stood and took a deep breath. "First of all, let me say thank you to all of you for your cooperation. Somehow, your help has been more difficult to deal with than the non-cooperation that Stargate Command gave me in an investigation I conducted there years ago. In all the things you've told me, you've given me no choice in the recommendation I have to make.

"I have Chief Leiter telling me that no matter the IOA's decision, she's not leaving. She's absolutely prepared to give up her position and stay as a civilian and, as a civilian, the IOA cannot recall her.

"I have the city's commander telling me that Chief Leiter is as important to the success of this mission as any of the teams going off world to procure technology and information.

"I have the city's XO, the person with the strongest ATA gene of anyone ever tested, telling me he's prepared to resign his commission and leave Atlantis altogether if Chief Leiter is recalled."

Sitting up straighter, Helena's eyes widened and she looked at John, who kept his face carefully neutral.

Woolsey continued. "I have the leader of the Athosian people assuring me that Chief Leiter will be given asylum if she needs it in order to stay.

"I have the lead scientist telling me that if it wasn't for Chief Leiter half of his staff would have lost it or quit by now. In fact, he tells me that he might actually lose half his staff if she is forced to leave.

"I have the CMO telling me that Chief Leiter is instrumental to the health of her staff because they are devoted workers who will put their own nutritional needs on the back burner until forced to eat by the chief.

"In fact, that Mr. Dex is quite convinced that, if the city is attacked, she will be one of the fiercest defenders of the city, because everyone knows that mothers are the fiercest fighters when their homes are threatened."

Woolsey frowned. "These are just samples of the statements that have been made to me by countless members of the expedition. I don't know if this was engineered or if it is genuine."

He looked at Helena and saw tears in her eyes and a smile on her face, giving him pause. He looked down and sighed. "I'd like to believe it is absolutely genuine. And, as a result, I have no choice but to recommend that Chief Leiter be allowed to remain."

John reached over and squeezed Helena's hand, and she released a sob of relief. Teyla, sitting on the other side of her, reached over and put her arm around her.

Woolsey looked at Helena. "I wish you all good luck. I'll be out of your hair tomorrow morning."

He picked up his tablet and walked out of the conference room.

The other members in the room stood and walked over to Helena, who stood and hugged them each in turn. She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I am so touched, my friends."

"None of this should be surprising to you, Helena," Rodney said, clearing his throat.

Jennifer nodded. "You should know how everyone feels."

Helena sniffed. "It's one thing to think you know. It's another thing entirely to hear. Besides, I'm pregnant. I'm allowed to be emotional."

They laughed.

After they filtered out to return to their jobs, Helena took John's arm and pulled him back. He stopped and turned to her.

"You were willing to resign your commission?"

He frowned. "Why does that surprise you, 'Lena? Did you seriously think I would allow you to leave and raise our child alone? I could retire at anytime, just like you. I don't particularly want to, but I wouldn't stay here while you and the baby were on Earth."

She smiled. "Thank you." She hugged him.

He frowned and pushed her back, looking into her eyes. "Did you_ not_ already know that?"

Tears entered her eyes again. "I hoped, but hearing it means everything to me."

He pulled her to him and kissed her until she seemed weak in the knees. When he pulled back, he looked at her and said, gruffly. "Don't ever doubt me again."

She swallowed. "Yes, sir."

"Let's go celebrate," he said, clearing his throat.

She smiled. "Lead the way."

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_A/N: Thanks to Duchess for the beta services on this chapter. And thanks to all who voted on the sex of the baby poll. The voting has been closed. Stay tuned for reactions!_


	16. Week 20

John woke to find that he was alone in the bed. He sat up and looked again. Some of the scientists had gotten together some three weeks ago and created a new bed frame that allowed them to put two mattresses together, citing that Helena would eventually be too big for the two of them to fit in the standard Lantean bed. Because of this, he sometimes felt that she was too far away – something she complained about while he kept it to himself. So when he found himself in bed alone, he always felt the need to double check that he was actually alone and not just too far away.

He looked around the room and, finding it empty, stood and pulled on a pair of shorts, then walked out of the bedroom. He frowned when he found the front room empty as well. Then he saw a shadow through the balcony window. He walked to the doors and they opened for him.

From the doorway, he saw Helena standing, wrapped in a blanket, gazing out to the ocean. "Can't sleep?"

She turned to look at him with a smile, "I didn't mean to wake you."

He grinned and walked over to her, "You didn't really."

He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands comfortably on her nearly five-month pregnant belly. "What are you thinking about?"

She sighed, "Tomorrow's the appointment."

Grinning, he asked, "Oh? What appointment?"

She elbowed his ribs and he chuckled lowly, his lip brushing her ear. After another long moment, she asked. "Aren't you nervous?"

He lifted his head and looked thoughtfully out at the ocean, "Not at all. Are you?"

"Yes."

He leaned a little to the side to look at her profile, "Really? Why?"

She took a deep breath, "I don't want to be disappointed and I don't want you to be disappointed."

He released her and walked around her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Listen, there is nothing you could do to disappoint me."

She looked up at him, "But you want a boy, right?"

He shrugged his face, "Well, sure, a boy would be great; I could teach him how to play football and how to spar, but a girl would be cool, too. I could teach her how to spar and appreciate football, just like a boy. Either way, our kid will be cherished and spoiled beyond belief."

She smiled at him. "I think of how a boy would be your little buddy, following you around and emulating your behavior – wanting to be 'just like daddy'. On the other hand, I think a girl would be 'Daddy's little girl' with you wrapped around her little finger," then she laughed, softly. "And I agree that either would be spoiled. Not necessarily by us, but by all our friends in this city."

"Are you _kidding_?! Ronon will be the worst! I can just see him as 'Uncle Ronon'. Anything that boy or girl wants, Ronon will find a way to get it for 'em."

Helena stepped toward him and touched his stomach. "And Rodney will be 'go ask your parents' about everything, with Teyla's level head in the middle."

John pulled her into his arms. "'Lena, I don't want you to be worried about this. What I really want is for you and the baby to be safe and healthy."

"You don't want one over the other, just a little?"

He lowered his lips to hers, gently. When he pulled back, he said. "Not even just a little. I want this child – whatever its sex might be."

She looked up at him with wonder in her face and then frowned, "What the hell did I do to deserve you?" She shook her head, as tears formed in her eyes. "That is quite possibly the sweetest thing I've heard in my entire life."

John kissed her forehead. He took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh as he said. "I just can't help myself."

She pinched his side and he jumped.

"Hey! That hurt!" His tone of indignation was tempered by the twinkle in his eyes and grin pulling on his lips.

Sticking out her bottom lip in a pout, she asked. "Aw, you want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"Could you?" His grin was lecherous. "And while you're at it, I can think of a couple more places that could use it, too."

"Mmm!" She wiggled her eyebrows. "Maybe I could be of assistance." But instead of moving into his arms, she turned on her heel and walked back into their apartment.

John frowned, then realized where she was most likely headed and jogged to catch up.

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"Okay, Mom and Dad," Jennifer Keller said. She had always wanted to be able to deliver this kind of news, so she'd begged Cole to let her do it. Cole was standing right there as Helena's doctor, but good-naturedly agreed to let the younger doctor give the news.

They had managed to figure out how the Lantean technology could be used for closer, more 3D images of internal organs – which, in this case, was used to get good pictures of the baby.

"Here we go," she smiled.

The scanner moved up Helena's body and back. Then the image was sent.

Keller and Cole both released their breaths at the same time, and John looked over to see them both smiling widely at each other. He frowned. "Uh, Doctors?"

Helena sat up and stood, something she rarely did until she was told it was okay.

Keller looked at them and motioned them over with her frantically waving hand.

When John and Helena looked at the monitor, Helena gasped and John whispered an awe-inspired, "Wow!"

On the screen was a baby. Not one of the hazy pictures that needed a doctor for translation, but a real baby, with fingernails on little fists held up next to a face that had visible eyelashes.

"Oh!" Helena breathed and tears welled up in her eyes. "Hello, little one," she whispered.

John took her hand and squeezed it. She looked up at him and thought she saw moisture in the eyes of this tough military man.

Then Cole nudged Keller, who hit some buttons to pan out to a full body shot.

"Okay, well, this baby is very cooperative," Cole laughed.

Keller pointed to the baby's legs, which were folded up, exposing the female genitalia. "She sure is."

"A girl?" Helena asked.

Keller smiled and nodded, happily.

John squeezed her hand again and she looked up at him, tears escaping her eyes.

"Oh, John! Isn't she gorgeous?"

Unable to speak, he nodded with a tight smile.

Keller sighed. "This is one time that I hate having a totally paperless society, here. I mean I know the reason printers weren't brought was because of the potential waste of paper and, where would we get additional paper when we ran out? But, God it would have been nice to print these."

After a long moment, Cole said. "Hey, I wonder if we can send these pictures to a laptop? We may not be able to print them, but they can be saved and shown around on a notebook."

Helena looked hopeful.

John cleared his throat. "Do you want me to call McKay?"

Keller shook her head. "I think we can figure it out, but if you want to, call the team to see the pictures while we get them transferred."

John shook his head, gazing at the image on the screen again. "Later."

Helena moved a bit closer to the screen and touched the image of her child. "She's beautiful," she breathed.

John stood there watching her watch their baby and his heart swelled until it filled his chest tightly and closed up his throat. He put his hands on his hips and looked down at his boots, concentrating on controlling the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him.

Helena turned to see him examining the floor and frowned. "John?"

When he tilted his head away and sniffed, Helena moved quickly to put her arms around him. "Thank you," she said, softly.

He cleared his throat and hugged her back, "For what?"

She looked back at the monitor, "For her."

When she looked back at him, his eyes were dark and intense. He put his hands on either side of her head and kissed her, long and thoroughly, as though they were alone, not even thinking that others might be watching.

Keller nudged Cole, who looked over the monitor they were working at to see John and Helena wrapped in an embrace. They smiled at each other for a moment, then went back to working on their mission.

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"Is that - ?" Ronon asked from his favorite chair in John and Helena's apartment, looking at the notebook Helena had just handed him with wonder.

Helena smiled wide. "Yeah."

"Oooh!" Rodney got up from the chair he'd just sat down in, "Ultrasound pictures?"

John smiled, the very image of a proud papa, "Better!"

"Wow…" Ronon's green eyes wandered over the image as Rodney moved to look over his shoulder.

"Wow!" Rodney echoed. "How did you get – ?" He answered his own question. "Ancient scanner's got 3D."

Helena laughed, "Yes."

Teyla moved over to Ronon then and gasped, "This is what the baby looks like right now?"

John grinned, "This afternoon, anyway."

"It's a girl," Ronon grinned, suddenly.

Rodney frowned. "How can you tell?"

Ronon looked over his shoulder at Rodney and grinned. "You really need a girlfriend."

Helena laughed out loud before covering her mouth with her hand.

Rodney straightened. "Well, of course, _I know the difference_ but how can you tell on the picture?" He looked again, where Teyla pointed happily and said. "Oh. Yes, definitely a girl."

"So, now that you know it is a girl, you will be considering names?" Teyla asked, straightening.

"Ronon's a good name," Ronon suggested, without looking up from the pictures.

John shook his head. "I think we might have a hard time explaining to a ten year old why she has the same name as her uncle."

Ronon's head popped up then. "What?" he asked quickly.

"I said, I think we'll have – "

Ronon stood, waving him off, "Not that, the last part."

John frowned and thought over what he'd said, "The same name as her uncle?"

Ronon glanced at Teyla, who smiled widely, "You mean it?"

Helena frowned. "What is it, Ronon?"

He looked at Teyla again.

"Explain it," Teyla nodded. "It may not mean the same thing to them."

Ronon turned. "On Sateda, when you name someone a family member, it means that you are giving them responsibility over the child. If anything happens to either of you, I would be expected to step up. If any of you ever need anything, it would be my responsibility to make sure you get it."

Teyla smiled, "It is so on Athos, as well. It is a great honor."

John frowned, "Well, of course. You're family. All of you," he looked at Teyla and Rodney. "It's not anything ceremonial on Earth and there isn't anything really expected of you – ."

"It simply means that our child will be raised to think of you as family," Helena smiled, "which you all are to us."

Ronon's smile was wide as he grabbed John by the shoulders and brought him into a huge bear hug, pounding on his back.

"Still need him here, Ronon, so don't break him," Helena laughed.

Ronon released him and went to her. He put his hands on her shoulders and squeezed slightly, lowering his head to touch foreheads with her. "I swear to be a guardian to your child for as long as I live."

Helena looked up at him and tears welled up in her eyes, "I know you will. Even before you said it, I knew."

John looked at Teyla, "You'll be her aunt, if it's okay."

Teyla nodded, "I would be honored."

Rodney was grinning when John looked at him. "I, personally, am looking forward to teaching her everything I know about science – which is, of course, quite a lot."

Helena chuckled, hugging Teyla. When she looked at Rodney, she said. "Just wait until she's five before starting her on astrophysics."

Rodney thought for a moment, "Fine, only linear mathematics before age five."

Ronon looked at the picture again, marveling, "Wow."

Helena sat down on the couch and happily watched her family celebrating the images of her child. She felt the flutter of her daughter inside her and put her hands on her belly. Then John sat next to her and put his hand on hers and they shared a look that spoke volumes.


	17. Feeling It

_**One Night 17 – Feeling it**_

John and Ronon brought another couch to the apartment for the express purpose of putting it out on the balcony. They did it while Helena was at work so that it would be a surprise for her when she returned.

Delighted by the surprise, Helena invited John to "break it in", which he might have done in a heartbeat, if the sun wasn't shining brightly onto the balcony at the time; instead, he invited her in to "practice" until later.

That night, he sat on the couch with her between his legs, his hands embracing her belly, now well-rounded with their daughter. She was leaning back, her head on his shoulder, resting her hands on his.

"Ferris wheels?" she asked. "Yeah, I like Ferris wheels, especially when they stop at the top, but there are days when I prefer the merry-go-round."

"Well, of course and there are days when you need a roller coaster, too."

She smiled and looked back, "You? I would have never guessed."

He chuckled, "Not you?"

"I only ever did roller coasters at theme parks."

"I've never been to a theme park that had a Ferris Wheel."

"Me, neither. So, I do Ferris Wheels and merry-go-rounds at fairs," she rubbed his hand. "And roller coasters at theme parks."

He could smell the floral fragrance of her hair products as he pressed his lips against her temple.

She took a deep breath, "Are you really okay with a girl?"

"Absolutely," he said, softly, into her ear. "I love the idea: 'Daddy's little girl.'"

She sighed, "You know, you can still teach her football."

"Sure," he agreed. "Even if she can't go pro, she can watch it with me."

"I would." She turned slightly to look back at him, "Which teams do you like?"

"College or pro?"

"Well, I prefer pro, but," she shrugged. "Both."

"UCLA and Dallas."

She sighed. "I don't know if this going to work out, John. Notre Dame and  
Chicago."

He frowned, "I thought you'd say Miami - didn't you live there?"

"I was stationed there in '92, but I spent my formative years in Chicago."

He grunted, "And here I thought you were Southern."

She grinned, "I am, but my dad was US Navy for the first half of my childhood: Monterey, Chicago, Key West and Richmond, Virginia. We stayed in Richmond when he retired." She settled back again. "I enlisted in the Army out of defiance."

He chuckled. "Same reason I chose the Air Force Academy. My Dad wanted Harvard and business. I wanted almost anything else."

Helena smiled her understanding, "I don't know what was worse: that I joined the Army or that I enlisted instead of going to one of the military academies to become an officer."

John rubbed her belly. "If he was Navy, joining the Army was probably the worst thing you could have done - especially since the Army's football team sucks."

Suddenly, John felt a movement under his hand. It was hard and quick. He straightened at the same time that Helena gasped.

"Was that...?"

She gulped, "Yeah, I think so."

"Wow."

The feeling happened again.

"If NFL is out, maybe soccer?" she asked.

He gently moved her off of him and knelt at her feet as she sat up, placing his cheek on her stomach.

His daughter kicked his cheek.

"Wow," he marveled again.

She laughed with tears in her eyes.

He looked up, "Is this the first time?"

She swallowed, "Well, I've felt her move - like butterflies in my belly, but this is the first time she's actually kicked."

He lifted her shirt and kissed her belly. "Listen, young lady, I think it's past your bedtime," he said to his daughter.

In response, she kicked again.

Helena laughed, "Speaking of defiance."

He looked up at her and shook his head in wonder, "This is freaking awesome!" he said with a hushed tone.

Helena sat up and pulled him up so that she could kiss him. "I really love the way you're so enthusiastic about all of this," she smiled.

John kissed her. "I can't imagine not being excited. This is all so incredible."

She touched his face, emotion shining through her eyes, "Let's go to bed, man o' mine."

He grinned, "If you don't mind, I'd like to make sure she's done moving around in there, first."

Helena threw her head back and laughed. "I was actually talking about sleeping, you know," she said, trying to look reproachful, but failing.

"Oh," John chuckled, "Well, in that case, we can go now." He stood and offered his hand to her.

She took it and stood. Still holding his hand, she led him into the apartment. "Thank you, again, by the way, for the couch."

He pulled his hand out of hers and put his arm around her. "My pleasure."

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It was late and John was about to fall asleep with his arms around Helena in the spoon position when he heard, "I love you, John."

His eyes popped open. At first he thought that maybe he'd dreamed it, thinking that she must already be asleep, but then she moved the way she did when she was nestling in to finally drift off. He knew that she'd said it thinking he was asleep, as she had with other late night confessions.

Questions raced through his mind: should he act like he hadn't heard it? Why had she said it? Was it something she just needed to say, finally? Or something she wanted to hear as well? Did she know how he really felt? Should he say the actual words?

He frowned. He knew how he felt and thought he'd shown it well enough, but what if she just needed to hear it? She knew him well enough to know that he was uncomfortable with those kinds of expressions. This disturbed him as well. Did she pick this time to say it because she didn't want him to feel pressured into responding? Or did she say it now because she was afraid he wouldn't respond?

He'd told her before not to doubt him, but he'd never said the words she'd just said. He'd known for a long time that he loved her, but it wasn't until he feared he might lose her that the depths of those feelings were realized.

And yet, he'd never said it.

But shouldn't she know by his actions? Wasn't the old saying 'actions speak louder than words'? His mind went to his ex-wife then. Maybe, if he'd been more forthcoming with Nancy, it wouldn't have ended the way it did. He'd never been one to dwell on the mistakes of the past, choosing, instead, to move forward; but what kind of dumbass stumbles through life making the same mistakes over and over again?

Finally, he slipped his arm out from under her head and braced himself up on one elbow. "'Lena, wake up."

She turned onto her back and looked, sleepily up at him, "Hmm?"

"Helena, wake up," he voice was more insistent.

She frowned and blinked several times. Finally, she asked, "What is it?"

"I want you to understand how I feel about you."

She smiled and reached up to touch his cheek. "Oh, honey, I know how you feel," she murmured, softly.

He frowned at her. "Be quiet, woman, or I may never get this out."

Her eyebrows rose at his tone and her hand dropped back down to rest on her stomach.

He took a deep breath. "I love you, Helena Leiter. I have for a long time. Until a couple of months ago, when I thought I might lose you, I didn't realize that I was _in_ love with you. I mean the forever and always, head over heels, kind of in love. I probably would have been able to get through the loss of our child, but if I had lost you." he cleared his throat. "Well, let's just say, I don't know how I would have been able to make it." He touched her face as he saw tears begin to form in her eyes. "I'm sorry I haven't said it sooner and I'm sorry if I don't say it often enough, but I don't want you to ever wonder. If you do, let me know and I'll do everything in my power to convince you again and again." He kissed her softly. "I love you, 'Lena, and I want you with me forever."

"Oh, John," she sobbed and pulled him down to kiss him again. "I love you, too. I may not say it simply because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but I do. Always."

He gathered her up and kissed her, slowly and thoroughly, exploring her mouth with deliberation. Then he trailed the kisses from her lips to her neck, just below her earlobe, causing her to moan. After working there for a few minutes, he moved downward as her hands roamed over him.

Their lovemaking was slow and deliberate, yet freeing, as if a barrier that neither of them had known existed was now gone. No more words were spoken, but emotions ran high, so high that when her first release came, tears escaped, which he quickly kissed away. He took his time with her, memorizing her every line and curve. She took her turn exploring him with slow deliberation, touching and tasting until he couldn't take anymore and picked her up to straddle him. Even then, he took his time, keeping her from taking over and rushing, bringing her to the very brink of insanity before increasing the tempo to bring her release, which immediately led to his.

Afterwards, as they lay, wrapped around each other, too hot for bedclothes, he pressed a kiss to her damp forehead. She reached up and kissed his scruffy cheek, then. "Thank you for telling me," she said, simply.

He squeezed her without a word and held her tight until they both fell asleep.


	18. Gifts

_**One Night 18 – Gifts**_

Abe Ellis walked into the cafeteria looking for an old friend. He went up to the serving line and spoke to Sergeant Cooper. She motioned across the room and he walked across and out the doors to the exterior balcony. When he turned the corner, his eyes widened and jaw dropped when he found her.

"Abe!"

"Helena, wow!

She put her hand on her very round belly and laughed. "You're not lookin' so bad yourself."

He accepted her friendly hug and looked down at her. "Wow, you're almost due, huh?"

She shrugged, "About eight more weeks."

"Wow."

She laughed again. "You keep saying that and you're going to give me a complex."

Abe shook his head, "I'm sorry, Helena, I haven't seen you in months. The last time I saw you, you weren't even showing yet. Now…"

"Now I'm as big as a house. Come on, help me roll down the stairs."

Abe chuckled. "Well, I wouldn't say a house, an igloo maybe."

Helena's laughter filled the cafeteria and she smacked Abe's bicep good-naturedly. "Ah,  
look, there's my baby's daddy."

John bounded up the stairs and nodded, "Sir."

"Sheppard. Looks like you're keeping the Chief, here, happy."

"I try, sir."

Helena chuckled. "He means, 'well-fed'."

John took her arm, "Aren't you supposed to be getting off work, soon?" he asked lowly.

Her smile melted into a frown and her eyes flashed. "John, don't start."

Abe frowned. "Actually," he said, "I was hoping you would be free for a little while."

Helena grinned. "Honey, I'm too expensive to be free."

Abe chuckled. "That's old, Helena."

"Yes, but no less true. What's up, Abe?"

He looked around, "I'd like to tell you – both of you – in private."

Helena and John exchanged curious looks.

"How 'bout our place?" Helena suggested.

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After giving Abe the "grand tour" of their apartment, that was decorated with mostly John's things since Helena really didn't keep much in her former room, they invited him to sit.

"Actually, I have to be getting back, but I'm glad you brought me here. See, the crew of the Apollo wanted to give a gift to the first Earth human born in the Pegasus Galaxy. It's rather large, so it's better that it be delivered here."

Helena looked at John askance, and he shrugged.

Abe tapped his earpiece. "Ellis to Apollo, transport the package to my location."

Immediately behind Abe, there was a flash of light and a crib appeared, full of gifts.

Helena gasped out loud. "Oh, my Lord!"

Abe grinned. "From what my helmsman tells me, it's a convertible crib. When the baby outgrows the crib, the two sides turn into a headboard and footboard for a regular bed. There are gifts from the kitchen staff and other departments onboard inside. We hope you like everything." He chuckled. "It's not like you were registered."

With tears in her eyes, Helena went over and hugged Abe, who looked surprised at John, who shrugged.

"Thank you and thank your crew, Abe. This is such a thoughtful gesture! Isn't it, John?"

John nodded. "Oh, yeah."

She went over to examine the crib and its contents as Abe said his goodbyes. John walked him out.

"I thought Colonel Caldwell was bringing the crib," John whispered outside the doors.

Abe grinned. "I beat him to it. Let him come up with something on his own," he glanced back. "Is it okay?"

John nodded, "Exactly what I had in mind when I asked Caldwell to bring it. I was ready to have my bank back home wire the money to his account, so I guess, I send it to you."

Abe clapped John on the back, "It's a gift, Sheppard. Really. I know you wanted it to be a surprise for Helena, which is a great thing for you to do, but you've started something of a competition between my crew and the Daedelus, so don't go ruining it, okay?"

John was surprised and it showed. "Thanks, sir."

Abe shook his head. "Keep that woman happy, Sheppard. She deserves it."

John frowned. "Uh, sir. If I can ask, how do you know Helena?"

"She and I dated. Twice. Never went any further. My hang up. You're a lucky man, Sheppard."

Shocked, John nodded. "Thanks, sir."

Abe waved and walked away.

John walked in and looked at Helena.

"Oh, John! They sent clothes!"

John nodded, quietly.

"John?"

"You dated Abe Ellis?"

Helena snorted. "Oh, that. Yeah, right after my divorce. Blind date."

"And the second time?"

She laughed. "Are you jealous?"

He shook his head. "No, just curious."

"Well, the second time wasn't a real date, just lunch. During which, he found out that I was in the military and not an officer and coolly told me that he could not, would not pursue any romantic liaison with me." She shrugged. "His loss, I told him – though it was for the best. I was newly divorced and it wouldn't have worked anyway."

John looked at her. Finally, he shrugged. "My gain." Then he went to the crib and looked in. "So, you like it?"

"It's perfect. Of course, you'll have to move it into the baby's room."

He smiled at her. "You don't want it in our room first?"

Helena frowned. "Hmm. I hadn't thought of that. You're probably right."

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Ronon and Teyla emerged from the Stargate carrying a large object wrapped in fabric. Sam loped down the stairs with a frown on her face. "Ronon, Teyla, what's this?"

Teyla smiled. "A gift for the baby."

Ronon looked at Sam defiantly, as if to dare her to stop them, but Sam's eyebrows rose and she grinned. "Really? That's great. Very thoughtful."

Ronon relaxed and shifted the object. "Do you know where they are?"

Sam nodded. "In their quarters, Colonel Ellis just left them."

Ronon nodded and shifted the object again. Teyla smiled. "We'll go see them then," she said.

"By all means," Sam smiled, gesturing the way out of the gateroom.

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"Ronon, Teyla," John said as his friends entered the apartment. "What do you have there?"

Helena popped her head out of their bedroom. "Oh, hi, Ronon! Teyla! You'll never guess what the Apollo…" she frowned as Ronon carefully put his package down. "What is that?"

Teyla smiled. "It is a gift from the Athosian people and Ronon, to your child. My people are preparing a grand feast for the day the first child of Atlantis is born. It is being looked upon as a great day of luck. Ronon and Halling worked with some of our best craftsmen to create this. We hope it is to your liking."

Helena looked at John, who grinned. "Here come the water works again," he said.

She frowned at him. "Stick it up your ass, John Sheppard. _You_ deal with these hormones and not tear up, every once in a while."

He laughed.

She walked over and knelt before the package. "How do I unwrap it?"

Teyla smiled and knelt also, gently unwrapping the fabric. As she unwrapped it, Helena touched it.

"I don't know about the package, but the wrapping is gorgeous."

Teyla grinned. "It is part of the present. It is a rug for the baby's room."

Helena turned it over in her hands. "Oh, Teyla, this is too beautiful for a rug. Will you be offended if I hung it on the wall?"

Teyla smiled. "It is a gift to you, my sister," she used Helena's pet reference for her "To do  
with as you wish."

Helena hugged her. Then she looked at what was inside the wrapping and gasped. "Oh, my! John..." she breathed.

It was a cradle. Made of dark wood that had been intricately carved and polished to a shine, it had a gentle curve to its legs to allow it to rock only just the right amount. At the head and foot, the wood was inlaid with carved flowers and leaves that were dyed pink and pale green. Helena touched the gift with a fingertip, as if fearing grabbing it would make it disappear, as tears streamed down her face.

John took Ronon's hand and nodded his gratitude to the younger man who was beaming with pride until he saw Helena's tears. Then he frowned.

"Are you okay?" Ronon asked her.

She sniffed and wiped the tears from her face. "No," she pouted. "What is it about people making me cry today?"

"Why should today be any different?" John teased her.

"Up yours, old man," she snapped. Then she looked from Ronon to Teyla and back. "I've never seen anything so beautiful. Thank you."

Teyla hugged her again and helped her stand so that she could hug Ronon.

After she was recovered, John grinned. "So where does this go, 'Lena?"

She grinned and winced a little bit. "In our room? The crib will have to go into the baby's room, now. Sorry."

John grabbed Ronon. "Help me move the furniture, again?"

Helena took Teyla by the hand. "You should see what the Apollo brought."

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A week later, the Daedalus arrived with baby bottles, formula, developmental toys, clothes  
to last until the child was two, linens, a convertible stroller, a nestling baby sling to carry the baby in and a pillow that wrapped around mom to help support baby during feeding – which could be used later to help the baby sit up.

At the same time, the scientists used local materials to create a high chair and a baby  
swing that could have an MP3 player plugged into it to play music – or, as Rodney suggested, elementary mathematics and science proofs to encourage brain development.

Evan Lorne surprised them both by painting a mural in the baby's room. A beautiful, staff-wielding huntress led a princess with long dark, reddish-hued, hair rode a unicorn toward a castle that had a center spire like Atlantis as a Puddle Jumper flew between the two moons and a pair of brave knights, one with dreadlocks and the other with a knowing grin, guarded the gate in the distant hills. Inside the castle, two wizards, one with glasses, could be seen working over a table. Finally, in a distant cloud, were Elizabeth Weir and Carson Beckett beaming down at the whole scene.

Helena cried with each gift, despite her best efforts and she got irritated with John every  
time he teased her about it. She handed out hugs like she handed out desserts in the cafeteria.

Late one evening, John held her on the balcony.

"Are you happy, 'Lena?"

She looked up and kissed him. "I've never been happier."

He squeezed her and rubbed her stomach, feeling his daughter kick in response.

"I think she's going to be night owl. She's most active at night," Helena smiled.

John groaned. "Not good, since we both have day jobs."

In response, Helena rubbed her stomach. "Go to bed, little one."

"Sounds like a good idea for all of us; we have an appointment with Dr. Cole tomorrow and I don't want her lecturing you about staying up too late, again."

Helena sighed. "You're right." She turned in his arms and reached up to touch his face. "You are the most wonderful, understanding, patient man on the face of the planet."

"That's not saying a lot since there are less than two hundred men on the planet, right now," he reminded her, with a twinkle in his eye and a smile playing about his lips.

"Well, I wouldn't want you to get over-confident, you know," she grinned, poking him in the ribs. "But I think it's saying a lot considering that there are men like Evan Lorne and Radek Zelenka here."

"Oh, well, if I'm more patient than Radek…He should be nominated for sainthood the way he puts up with Rodney."

Grinning, she said. "And Evan, too. I mean, look at his boss."

John frowned down at her. "What do you –? Oh! I get it; ha, ha." He dug his fingers into her ribs, making her squirm.

When he stopped, he said, "And Lorne should not be sainted, because his boss is 'the most wonderful, understanding and patient man on the planet', remember?"

Helena grinned. "Oh, right. I had forgotten."

He narrowed his eyes at her and she smiled back up at him. "To bed with you, woman," he growled.

Helena took his hand and led him into the apartment without another word.


	19. Emergency

_**One Night 19 – Emergency**_

Helena opened her eyes, moaning softly at the too familiar feeling coming from the area of her lower torso. "Little One, seriously, do have to spend _all night_ sitting on my bladder?" She rubbed her belly, hoping the feeling would go away, but sighed again when it didn't. "Fine." She looked over at the clock next to her bed which read 2:46 am. "At least I was able to get _almost_ two hours…" she muttered as she rolled herself out of bed.

Her eyes widened and the icy hand of fear descended upon her heart when her feet hit the ground, accompanied by a gush of liquid. "No…please, God, no!" She whispered as she reached for the light on the bedside stand. Expecting deep red blood, like the last time, she was a bit relieved to see a puddle of clear liquid, but terrified still. "It's too soon," she breathed, reaching for her earpiece.

"Leiter to Cole."

_Cole, here._

"I think my water just broke."

_Are you sure? _

Cole's voice _was_ a little tired, Helena allowed, frowning. Taking a deep breath, she responded. "Well, seeing as I've never actually _done_ this before, no. I would say it's difficult for me to be 100 sure. But there is large puddle of clear liquid on the floor of my quarters."

_Isn't it a bit early for smartass?_

Helena smiled through her fear. "It's never too early for smartass, Kat. What do I do?"

_Are you in any pain? Are you feeling contractions?_

"No pain. And I wouldn't know a contraction if it hit me on the side of the head."

_Yes, you would, dear. Are you in your quarters?_

"Yes."

_Sit tight. I'm sending a stretcher to you._

Helena thought about how far her quarters were from the center spire that held the infirmary. "I'll transport to you."

_Absolutely, not. I don't know how using a transporter will affect you or the baby at this point. Just sit tight, they're already on their way._

Helena went to the closet to find a dress to throw on. "Kat."

_Yes, Helena?_

"It's too early."

There was a pause. _It is a bit early, but it's not unmanageable, Helena. Everything's going to be okay._

Helena pulled the dress over her head and walked out into the front room. She looked around the empty apartment and sighed. "I wish your daddy was here, Little One. Don't you decide to come until he gets back, okay?"

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Radek's hair was messier than normal as he rushed into the infirmary. "Doctor Keller?"

Jennifer turned and looked at the scientist. "Doctor Zelenka, I need your team to make this," she handed him a notepad with schematics on it.

Adjusting his glasses, he looked at the computer screen. Then he looked up, wide-eyed. "Is this what I think it is?"

Jennifer nodded. "I was hoping we wouldn't need it, but it looks like we might. If we do, we won't have time after the baby's born. I need it as soon as possible. Sooner."

Radek took a deep breath. "We'll get it for you."

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Helena was wheeled into the infirmary, holding her stomach, fear etched on her face. Cole appeared at her side.

"How are you?"

Helena shook her head. "She hasn't moved."

"That's not unusual. She's saving up her energy for her grand entrance." Cole nodded. "Don't worry. Let's see what we have."

After the examination, Cole made sure that Helena was comfortable. "Your water _has_ broken. You're dilated six centimeters. You have another four centimeters to go and it could take a while, which would be best. We've got the epidural equipment the Daedalus brought a couple of months ago prepped and ready; Rodham will get you fixed up with that real quick. Before that, though, I want to get you under the scanner to get an idea how the baby is situated and check her vitals."

Helena nodded. "Let's go."

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John Sheppard trudged into the Puddle Jumper, glaring at Rodney.

"What?" the scientist asked.

"It was bad enough when I got mud in my boots, now it's sliding down my neck, too."

Rodney, who was covered in mud to his thighs, frowned. "Listen, it was an accident. I tripped. I didn't knock you down on purpose."

John glanced at Teyla and Ronon, who both looked sympathetic. John frowned, however, when he recognized the glint of laughter in both their eyes. "I should leave all of you here," he groused, squishing into the pilot's seat.

Teyla stopped Rodney from taking the shotgun seat with a touch and a look; Rodney nodded and sat toward the back, making Ronon smile widely. John glanced over as Teyla sat and returned his gaze, as if waiting for a remark.

He sighed and started up the jumper. He squirmed, feeling like he had mud where mud had no right being. He knew it was late on Atlantis, but he had every intention of waking Helena for help cleaning up. The thought made being covered with mud _almost _a positive.

Once they reached orbit, he glanced at Teyla. "Dial the gate."

She hit the seven symbols and, when the wormhole stabilized, sent through her IDC.

Sam's voice filtered through. _Colonel Sheppard, I was getting ready to call you._

"Well, we're coming back. There was nothing there but mud. No Ancient lab or even artifacts. Just mud."

_Good. I was about to recall you anyway. Helena's gone into labor._

John's eyes widened and he looked over to Teyla, who looked concerned. He narrowed his eyes. "What did you say?"

_Helena's in labor. She's in the infirmary. Dr. Cole says that she and the baby are fine, but it's the real thing. The shield's down. Get parked and head straight there._

John frowned, his heart in his throat as he lined up the jumper to enter the gate.

"Great news!" Ronon smiled.

Rodney looked over to him with a frown. "Isn't she only at 34 weeks?"

When John didn't answer, Teyla did. "Yes."

Ronon looked to his team mates, bewildered at their attitudes. "What?"

"A baby's not considered full term until 36 weeks," Rodney explained grimly.

John's mouth tightened as Rodney put into words what he'd been thinking.

"I'm sure everything will be fine," Teyla pronounced, glancing back at Rodney.

Realization struck Rodney's face and he quickly change his tone. "Oh, yes. Yes, of course. Back on Earth, babies born at twenty weeks have survived and they don't have all the technology we have. And Cole might be a week or two off in her estimation of the due date, which means the baby _is _full term and then there's absolutely nothing to worry about – "

"Rodney," John interrupted the rambling rant.

"Yes?"

"Thanks," he frowned.

"Oh. Uh. You're welcome?"

Within minutes, they were securely situated in the Jumper Bay and John moved quickly out of the rear hatch and ran for the infirmary, with Ronon, Teyla and Rodney at his heels.

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Cole came out of the makeshift birthing room to see John Sheppard running through the infirmary, followed by his entire team. Horrified, she held up her hands. "Stop!"

John stopped, short. "Helena's in here?"

She looked him up and down, then looked at Teyla, Ronon and Rodney. "There is no way you're going in there, right now."

John straightened up to his full six feet and two inches, looking down on her. "Why not?"

She looked at him, clearly not intimidates. "You are _filthy_. You all are. There is no way in this life or the next that you are going in there like this." Cole took a deep breath. "Go, get cleaned up," she continued in a more calm tone. "This is likely to take quite a while. She doesn't even know you're back yet. Go. I'll call you if anything changes."

John looked over at the door, then back at her. "Can you tell her I'm here?"

Cole narrowed her eyes. "Colonel," she took a deep breath.

"What?"

Cole frowned. "I don't want this to sound bad. She's not asking for you because she knows that you're off-world, working. She wants you here, of course, but she's entered a frame of mind that allows her to relax without you, for now. Wouldn't you rather her continue that frame of mind until you can walk in the door?"

Ronon put his hand on John's shoulder. John sighed. "Call me."

Cole nodded. "Immediately."

John turned and ran out of the infirmary.

"John!" Rodney called. "Use my quarters, they're closer. I'll go get your stuff."

"I'll go." Ronon turned and ran at speeds only he could reach.

John nodded and switched direction to go to Rodney's quarters.

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Showering took way too long, despite being the quickest shower of his life, so when John re-entered the infirmary, he was impatient as Cole gave him a status report.

"She's been in labor now for 5 hours; she's at about eight centimeters and progressing fine. The epidural has taken affect, so she's not feeling any pain. She's worried about the baby, of course, but she's being very brave. Right now, she's resting, so go on in, but do so quietly." She took a deep breath. "She's going to need all the rest that she can get. This could go for a long time."

"Is that okay? I mean isn't it dangerous for labor to go on for too long?"

Cole offered a smile. "As long as mother and child are not in distress in anyway, it is beneficial for the baby to delay, in this case. If her water hadn't broken, I would actually be giving her drugs to stop the labor. I can't do that now because I don't want to risk an infection and the chances of that go up exponentially after the membrane ruptures. However, once labor starts, the mother's body starts sending hormones into the baby's body that prepare the lungs to breathe oxygen. Because she's early, we want to give her body plenty of time to get ready for that. It's the one thing we have to worry about."

He nodded, grimly. "Can I see her, now?"

Cole smiled. "Go on in."

John walked in to find Helena lying on her side, propped up with pillows, with a pillow between her legs, as she had been sleeping for the past month or so. She seemed to be sleeping. He frowned at monitors she was hooked up to and the IVs. One was inserted to her hand and the other was in her back. There were two monitors that beeped with heartbeats – one slow and steady, the other quicker, but still steady – and a monitor that had a graph on it. Before his eyes the graph on the monitor began to jump which seemed to make both heartbeats increase a little and he watched as Helena's hand rubbed her belly without opening her eyes.

He grabbed a chair from the side of the room and moved it to next to her bed. He reached over and took her free hand in his.

Helena opened her eyes and looked at him with a smiled.

"Couldn't wait a few hours?" he smiled.

She squeezed his hand. "Maybe you can talk to her; she doesn't seem to want to listen to me."

John stood a little and kissed her. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you."

Helena touched his face. "I know why you weren't. Don't ever apologize for doing your job." She frowned. "You need a shave."

He grinned. "Yeah, I didn't take time to shave when I got back. I wanted to get here as soon as possible. It was bad enough that Cole made me shower and change first."

She grinned back at him and said, "She would."

"How are you?" He frowned as he noticed the monitors changing again. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

She rubbed her side. "No. The epidural is working. I only feel a slight pressure of the muscles tightening during the contractions. My feet, however, are completely asleep."

He smiled. "You're incredible."

"I'm terrified."

"Don't think that way," he admonished. "Everything is going to be great. We're about to finally meet our little girl."

Helena smiled, appreciatively at him.

He frowned. "Then, you know, we never really talked about names."

"We haven't, have we? Maybe we should. I don't think 'you with the face' will be entirely effective."

He pursed his lips. "Did you have anything in mind?"

"Well…" She rubbed her belly again.

"What?"

She took a deep breath. "I like Elizabeth."

The statement hung in the air for a moment. He looked down at their hands intertwined and took a deep breath. It had been a little more than a year since Elizabeth Weir's death. A part of him still felt responsible for that. But then he remembered that was the occasion that led him to act on the feelings and desires he had for Helena. He'd wanted to pursue more with her before that, but it was this tragedy that made him turn to her.

"John?"

He looked at her. "I think Elizabeth is…" he took a deep breath. "perfect."

She smiled with relief. "Elizabeth Sheppard."

He frowned. "I think it needs more."

Helena's eyebrows rose. "A middle name?"

Nodding, he thought. "What about your name?"

She said it, softly. After a moment, she shook her head. "No."

They continued discussing names until Cole came in and scolded John for keeping Helena awake. After Cole checked the monitors and Helena's progress, Helena moved over in the bed and invited John up.

He climbed into the bed and pulled Helena into his arms, resting her head on his chest and his hand on her stomach. He rubbed her shoulder and belly until he felt her relax in his arms, telling him that she had fallen asleep.

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Outside the birthing room, Ronon reclined on a gurney while Teyla and Rodney sat next to it.

"How long is this going to take?" Rodney asked, finally, crossing his arms across his chest.

Teyla rolled her eyes. "The child will come when she is ready."

Rodney harrumphed. "It's been _hours_ already. I mean it's been _hours_ since Radek and I finished the incubator."

Ronon looked over. "You want to go in there and tell Helena she's taking too long?"

Rodney glanced toward the door. "Oh, uh…" he shook his head, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of confronting Helena in labor. "No."

Teyla laughed.

Cole moved quickly into the room. Moments later, Cole returned and smiled at the team as she passed. "Looks like this is it." She left their sight and came back, followed by Keller, two nurses and a corpsman, wheeling in the incubator.

Ronon jumped up to his feet as Teyla and Rodney stood. Rodney tapped his ear, calling Sam to tell her, as he'd been instructed.

Not too long later, they heard a low-pitched, pain-filled moan coming from the birthing room. Ronon moved toward the door, but was intercepted by Teyla.

"That wasn't bad; expect to hear screaming," Teyla said to both men with worry etched on their faces. "Childbirth is a very painful process, but the doctors are skilled. And John is in there with her."

A bit of time later, Sam walked briskly into the infirmary. "Well?"

Rodney frowned and shook his head. "It doesn't sound too good."

Teyla rolled her eyes with a smile. "Everything seems fine. They are alarmed by some of the sounds."

"Screaming?" Sam winced.

"Actually, no." Teyla seemed impressed. "She sounds more like Ronon when he's preparing for a fight."

Sam looked impressed. "Roars not screams," she nodded. "That seems good."

Teyla nodded.

Rodney frowned. "Seriously? You're making jokes?"

Sam patted his arm. "Relax, Rodney. Women have been going through this since the beginning of time."

Rodney took a deep breath and looked at Ronon, who shook his head and began to pace.

"And men have been worried about it for just as long," Teyla smiled.

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Helena leaned back, exhausted, when Cole told her to stop pushing. John grasped her left hand while Keller had her right.

"You're doing a really great job," Jennifer said to her.

John leaned down and kissed her forehead. "You're beautiful," he whispered.

Helena smiled, appreciatively. "You're a liar, but keep 'em comin'."

Cole looked up. "Okay. This should be the last one, Helena. Take a deep breath and push for all your worth."

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"They've been in there forever!" Ronon growled.

Teyla smiled and repeated what she'd said only a few minutes earlier. Now she said it for him, Rodney, Radek, LeVox, Lorne and many other men and women who'd gathered now that word had gotten around. "The child will come when she is ready."

That was when they heard it: a baby's angry wail that filled the infirmary. People cheered and patted each other on the backs, exchanging hugs – but not Rodney. He stood to the side with concern still etched on his face.

"Rodney?" Teyla asked. "What is wrong?"

"She's still early. Just because she's been born alive doesn't mean she's out of the woods."

Teyla swallowed. Others around who heard him stopped their celebrations and the room was filled with tension again.

"One victory at a time," Sam offered. "Let's focus on her successful entry into this world, okay?"

The room relaxed slightly, but concern was still very present.

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Helena watched as Keller, defying his protests, handed their newborn to John, after she'd been cleaned up and examined. Her heart swelled and tears filled her eyes at the look of rapture on his face as he looked down at the small bundle.

Stepping gingerly across the room as if one misstep would cause him to drop her, John walked over to Helena. He gently handed their daughter to her mother. "Say hello to your mother, Little One," he whispered, the sound getting stuck in his throat.

Helena looked down at the baby he placed in her arms. She pulled back some of the swaddling to look at one of her hands. "She's so beautiful," she whispered.

"Just like her mother."

She looked up at him, beaming. "And her hair is dark like yours."

He grinned. "Sorry."

She shook her head. "I'm thrilled." She smiled up at him. "Thank you for this, my love."

He kissed her. Then, looking down at their daughter, he said the next thing that came to his head. "We should get married."

Helena's eyes widened. "Ah, Doc! I think she's getting a little blue. John, do you see – "

Cole was there in an instant. "Okay, Helena. We're going to have to put her in the incubator. I'm going to take her to the scanner and run some tests to make sure everything's okay." She took their child and moved her to the incubator Radek and Rodney created. Then they moved quickly out of the room.

Helena squeezed John's hand. "Go. Please, John, stay with her."

His head spinning and his heart in his throat, he ran after his daughter as he heard something that sounded like a bullfrog. Fear gripped him, when he realized it was the sound of his daughter struggling for her next breath. He suddenly wished he could give her a lung or even two.

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Hours later, Ronon wheeled Helena into the part of the infirmary that was dubbed the "NICU" or Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. John was sitting in a chair, next to their daughter's incubator. Helena thanked Ronon and stood to look into the unit.

John stood and put his arm around her. "The docs say she's going to be okay."

Helena nodded, looking down at their daughter, who tiny chest seemed to cave in every time she took a breath. "Kat told me she should be out of here in a couple of days."

John squeezed her. He looked over at Ronon and found that Teyla was next to him. Then he looked over to where Rodney was sitting, having never left his side. "Maybe we should tell them her name."

Helena smiled, then. "Elizabeth Crey Sheppard."

Rodney looked stunned. "Wow."

Teyla smiled. "Elizabeth would have been proud."

"Tell them about her middle name," he prodded.

"It's a family name," she smiled, not taking her eyes of the little one. "C-R-E-Y. C for Carson. R for Rodney and Ronon. E-Y for Teyla."

"Helena came up with 'ray', spelled E-Y because Teyla is spelled that way," John explained. "I added the C."

"It is a beautiful name," Teyla said, softly. "I am honored."

"Wow," Rodney said, again.

Ronon cleared his throat and walked away. Helena looked up when she saw him leave her periphery. "Ronon?"

He turned back to her with a clouded expression. He cleared his throat and said, gruffly, "Me, too."

Helena smiled, then, and looked at John.

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Eight days later, Helena held Elizabeth as John wheeled them both into their quarters. She stood and walked to the cradle where she gently laid the sleeping infant. Then she turned to find John standing next to her.

He put his arms around her and kissed her deeply. "I love you, 'Lena," he said, gruffly.

She smiled at him. "I love you, too, John." She stepped away, then. "We need to talk."

He nodded.

"About what you said when Elizabeth was born."

"About?"

She smiled, "About wanting to get married."

He swallowed. "Oh."

Helena took his hand. "I love you, John. Honestly and truly and I want to stay with you for the rest of my life."

"But?"

She shook her head. "But I don't want to get married. Not right now. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't think our relationship will end like…"

"Like our previous attempts."

Helena sighed. "Exactly, but – "

"We'll give it time," he cut her off. "There's no pressure and no reason for us to rush."

She melted into his arms again. "You are too wonderful, my love."

John held her, relishing the feel of her in his arms. "As long as you're happy, my 'Lena, I'll wait forever."


	20. Epilogue

_**One Night 20 – Epilogue**_

John was awakened to a thirty pound weight being dropped on his chest. He opened his eyes with a grunt to see a mass of curly black hair with mischievous sky blue eyes and an infectious smile looking down at him.

"Happy Birthday to me, Daddy!" his daughter bounced off his chest and onto the bed next to him.

"Happy Birthday, Lily," he smiled, gathering her into his arms. "How old are you now?"

"Four!" She said, brightly. "Mommy said," she looked over toward the door where Helena stood, smiling.

"Well, we never argue with Mommy," John said.

Elizabeth, whose nickname became Lily after Evan Lorne insisted on calling her "Li'l E.", giggled. "That's because she's in charge of our food."

Helena laughed at the running joke. "Get off with you, young lady. Go pick out your clothes."

She stood on the bed and walked to the end of it, bouncing slightly as she walked. "Uncle Ronon's going to let me shoot his gun today!"

Sitting up, John looked at Helena, who shook her head with a raised eyebrow. "He said when you're older."

Lily rolled her eyes in a fair imitation of Teyla and shook her mass of curls. "Well, today I'm _older_," she said in a 'well, duh' tone of voice.

Before Helena could say another word, John spoke. "We'll talk about it after breakfast. Go get dressed."

Lily jumped off the bed and through the bathroom to get to her bedroom on the other side.

"That child is far older than her years, you know," Helena frowned after her.

"Probably because she's the only kid in the city," John nodded, patting the space on the bed next to him and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Smiling, Helena walked over to the bed and sat down. "Good morning, handsome."

He put his arms around her and kissed her. "Good morning, yourself, gorgeous." He kissed her again. Then he smiled at her, "Marry me?"

She narrowed her eyes but smiled. "Are you going to ask me that every year?"

He shrugged, still grinning, "I figure that every year there's a chance you'll say yes."

Helena blushed in a way that still turned him on. "Well, what if I said I was thinking about saying yes, this year?"

"What?" he looked surprised. He narrowed his eyes. "Don't tease me, woman."

She grinned, "I said I was _thinking_ about it."

"But?"

"But I want you to understand what you're getting yourself into."

He frowned. "What do you mean by that?" He looked over toward where their daughter had disappeared. "After all this time, I think I have a pretty good idea – "

"I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened and he jumped up. "What?!"

Helena laughed.

"Really? You're sure?"

She nodded. "Your airmen hard at work again."

He picked her up and swung her around. "That's fantastic!"

"I found out yesterday, but I wasn't going to tell you, yet. I don't want anything to take away from Lily's day."

John nodded. "Of course," he grinned. He took her face in his hands and kissed her until he felt her knees weaken. Delighted that he could still get that kind of reaction from her, he pulled back and looked into her eyes. "So does that mean you're going to finally make an honest man out of me?"

Nodding, happily, she repeated. "I don't want to take away from Lily's day." She smiled coyly. "So why don't you ask me again tomorrow?"

John pushed her back until her back was against the wall, then, again taking her face in his hands, he kissed her, deeply and thoroughly, eliciting a groan from her as he pressed against her. Then he heard a giggle from behind him and pulled back to see Helena's hooded eyes blink hard as if to clear her vision. With a smile, he turned. "What is so funny, Miss?"

"You were kissing Mommy," Lily giggled, again.

"And now it's your turn!" he lunged for her, but she dodged him with a peal of laughter.

Helena sat on the bed as she watched the man she loved chase the love they made around the room. Her insides trembled with the fear of the unknown, but that was quickly tamped down by the swelling of her heart in her chest. There still were a lot of things that would be difficult in their future – they were, after all, a galaxy away from Earth, entering into another high risk pregnancy, and the big "M" word that they had both confessed to being total failures at previously – but she was sure they would be able to work through it, as they had worked through everything they'd faced up until now.

And to think, she smiled, it all started with one night on their made-up Caribbean vacation.

FIN

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_A/N: And thus ends the Alternate Universe story of what could have been. I really appreciate all of you who have followed the story through to its ending and who have left reviews. They truly are what keeps me going._

_A special thank you to Duchess, who acted as Super Beta From Heaven for much of this story…feel better soon, my friend!_

_MA_


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